[Nyororin]

I just thought I`d post my own personal experiences to compliment those of Pachipro.

Originally Posted by Pachipro

- Dealing with governmental offices and immigration can be very tiresome and cumbersome, but it is that way for the Japanese also. You just learn to live with it.

We`ve had absolutely wonderful experiences with immigration and government offices. Our marriage and visa changing, etc, was about as smooth as I can imagine it being. As I hear everyone, everywhere (foreigner and Japanese) complain about how awful their experiences were, I have to say that we must be a huge exception.

- Trains are very crowded as are most of the major cities; more than most people have ever experienced in their life, but you either get used to it or you leave.

They are. Even out in the countryside, if it`s a train heading for the city, it`s going to be packed. But this is only at peak hours. Morning and evening when people are going to work and coming home. Any other time and you`ll feel like you`re the only person on board. I am used to it, and don`t really notice it unless I have my son with me, and then I`ll fight like the best of them to secure space and a seat.

- If you want to live in Tokyo it is very expensive.

I definitely second the expense of Tokyo bit. I personally would never choose to live there. Other large cities in Japan may not be as huge, but offer just as much flavor, and are much much more affordable.
Regarding apartments - recently the deposits and such have gone down quite a lot. It`s become pretty popular for rental offices to offer very low deposit apartments, and to make theirs more appealing a lot of landlords have lowered theirs. 10 years ago, we rented an apartment that required 3 months deposit and 3 months thank you money. When we moved out, only 1 month`s worth came back. 5 years ago we rented a very nice apartment (inner city), and it was no thank you money, 2 month deposit. We got almost all of it back. It`s been going down pretty rapidly recently.
I`ve never personally had any problems with thin walls, but we`ve always lived in nice places. I imagine the cheaper you go, the worse it is.
But central air/heat? Don`t expect it ANYWHERE. You`d might as well say it doesn`t exist in Japan.

- It is impossible to conveniently drive anywhere.

While I agree that the train system in Japan is wonderful, I`m going to say the driving trouble is a mainly Tokyo thing. Anywhere else though, and you`ll probably want a car.
I personally drive everywhere that it is possible to, and don`t experience any problems. If you know which stores have parking lots that give free hours in return for small purchases, you can also park for close to free just about anywhere in Nagoya. We`ve also driven around about half of Japan without any problems.

- If you are a foreigner you WILL be targeted by the police and asked for your passport or alien registration card on some occassions. Expect it!

I`ve been expecting it for the past 9 years, and it`s never happened. Maybe it`s more common in Tokyo where there is more petty crime. Or maybe it`s because I`m female. I`ve used my driver`s license for all my identification for the past few years, and have never been asked to use my registration card.

Contrary to what Gloobey said, the Japanese police are very helpful and will assist you in any way they can.

I have to second this. I`ve had nothing but pleasant experiences with our local police force. I`ve found the police here to be more "normal people" than the police where I grew up. They`ve been nothing but friendly and kind to me.

- As a foreigner you will be stared at many times, especially in the country and kids will point at you.

I think the blatant staring has been toned down quite a lot in recent years. I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I`ve felt I was being stared at. Usually it`s little elementary schoolers who think it`s funny to scream "Hello! How are you!" at you in front of their little friends.

- Japanese will call you "gaijin" （外人） because gai　（外） means outside and jin　（人） means person. In other words, you are not Japanese.

This is a matter I have mixed feelings on. I have been accepted by those around me, and am not usually called "gaijin" (although I`ll use it as a joke to refer to myself, or others) I`ve always noticed that the better you speak the language, the less problems there are. As I`ve been here since I was technically a child, if I`m asked how long I`ve been in Japan I just say "since I was a child"... 9 times out of 10, I`m treated as a Japanese with a gaijin face. And that is what it really is, appearance. I`ve never felt discriminated against, but people have been afraid to talk to me because I look like I can`t speak Japanese. I do, and fluently so, so there is usually no trouble after we do speak though.

- No matter how long you have lived in Japan you will be asked the "20 question routine" by many Japanese including those who have known you a long time.

I avoid this one by just answering, "Well I`ve been in Japan since I was a child..." and the questions end as if by magic.

- Japanese culture is very unique in the world and when a fad hits, it hits the whole country all at once in what the Japanese call a "boom".

This is true. I think it`s toned down a LITTLE bit compared to when I first got here, but it is still going strong.

- Many people put down the Japanese because of their sex industry and their treatment of women.

My personal feelings are that it is better out in the open - the Japanese girls who work there choose to do so, and generally enjoy their jobs, and are well taken care of. I`m not going to comment about any foreign sex industry workers because I`ve heard all sorts of things (good and bad) so I really don`t know what is true, and what is overblown hyperbole.

Not all, but many Japanese women enjoy their status in Japan and for many their only dream is to get married, have children and run a family. Nothing wrong with that IMO. Who are we foreigners to demand change in that area? If the Japanese women desire change they will have it.

This is exactly what I meant when I said I preferred the Japanese way of treating women. It may look as if women don`t have as many choices or options, but I think that they do have more freedom in their own way.
Just as an example, to compare to the US - A woman in the US who gives up her career to care for her children at home is "crazy", and a woman who chooses to be a stay-at-home wife is "lazy"... Or "being oppressed by her husband". So while there appears to be freedom, there isn`t any as women are judged pretty harshly by other women. I prefer the Japanese way that puts the child first.
Gloobey is right in saying that, in general, the government doesn`t go after the father to make him pay for his children. However, instead of squeezing child support payments out, they provide free housing, free childcare, free schooling, free support groups and even job introductions for single mothers. Which is better? I don`t know, but as long as the children are being properly provided for and it works...

- Many foreigners find Japanese TV to be childish and stupid. I enjoyed Japanese TV.

It`s stupid until you get it - and then it can be hilarious. But I don`t go out of my way to watch it. Some of it really *is* stupid. It all depends upon what you`re watching. Having lived in Japan for so long, whenever I watch US tv it all seems so... fake.

- Yes there is crime in Japan and horrendous murders as with any other country, but you will more often than not find that most of the crime is committed against family members by other family members and people the perpetrator knows.

As I said in my original comment - I`d much rather see a week`s worth of in depth reports on one horrendous crime than have the newscaster rush through a list of 10 each night.

However, the crime rate in Japan is far, far, far lower than in the US, England, or other countries of the world.

There is a lot of news about crime increasing recently... Don`t take them for face value. There have been a lot of improvements in the police force and a lot of changes in laws, which of course means that more crimes are reported and more events are categorized as crimes... If you take that into account, the crime rate has actually gone *down* in the past 20 years. It is very very safe here. Seriously, my parents-in-law DO NOT HAVE A LOCK on their door. It`s not a matter of not locking it - there is no lock to lock. The same with their neighbors, and yet the worst that has ever happened is some kid came in and stole ice cream out of the freezer.
We`re in the city, and a bit more paranoid so we lock our doors... But really, Japan is very very safe.

- If you are European or Canadian, Japanese will automatically assume you are an American.

I don`t know if it`s how I look or what, but everyone around here asks me if I`m Canadian.