[kcyk8703]

Not bad, shows potential, however it doesnt not reveal any bigger idea to hold the reader beside "the very (<-- that word not needed) beginning of the end of the world."

- Try to match up the tenses in a paragraph/chapter, switching between past and present can be confusing.
- Give a little more description as your write, when you introduce a character or special object. Things like what is the Raven Blade (besides a sword, is it made of something special?, a legendary sword)? He recieves a scar on his face (where is the scar? how big is the scar? <--- The way you worded it sounds like "Rurouni Kenshin's" version of how he recieved his scar from the girl)

I would like to read more about this story, it sounds interesting.