[Slykaz1]

I step out my door
and its not my home
i'm in.
I see flowers blooming
blissfully. birds chasing
each other gayishly
but within me a storm
is brewing.
Twisteres, and shades of dark
go through my head.
nothing I see is what it
seems.
I wish I could understand
when spoken to.
Nothing makes sense to me
I no longer view the world
positively.
What's wrong with me. It
disgusts me to see people
happily, Why are they
happy? SHUT-UP!
The laughter *covering my ears*
They're laughing at me.
SHUT-UP!
They talk....about me.
SHUT-UP!
I load my shotgun.
BAM! BAM! BAM!
DIE! DIE! DIE!
I! HATE! YOU!

Blood rushing from my
hands....what is this?
My heart is pounding in
my ears....is this it?
I look into the mirror, holes
in my body. What did I do?
Pain rushes to my body.
AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!
Hot tears roll down my face

They rush to my side
All I see is they're laughter
LEAVE ME ALONE!

Nothing......why is it dark?

A light....must go to the light
....must....light....overwhelming
....bright as day....voices
....familiar voices.
"She's back! She's made it!
Slowly blinking my eyes I see
the faces who laughed at me.
Hot tears roll down my face.

NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Must I live through life
again! Let me go back!
Let me stay gone forever!
I don't want to be here!
Let me....let me go!
.....let me go away!

Again the silence....the nothingness....

*Gasp* As I wake to find myself sweating in the darkness. I get up to turn
my light on. I'm in my room. I look in my mirror, take off my shirt and there on my chest are three scars, of were the bullets entered my body. "It wasn't a dream. It was real." I go to my mother's room. She's fast asleep. "Mom."
"What is it hunny?" I hesitate. "Did I really try to kill myself?" A long pause from my mother. "Yes you did." "Oh I see." I go back to my room without another word.

I find my small pistol
....load it
....put it to my head
...."Good-bye cruel world"
....BAM!