[SSJup81]

Originally Posted by Kal3ido

I dont look at it as who looks better, if you come from a family where evey 3rd child succeeds, then you will understand my thinking. My mom and dad gave us a good home, made good living, they was involed in our lives, but my brothers as my dad calls them are "stumps". Since im the only one doing something with my life, I refuse to have my kids displayed in this negative light. I know that this might be wishy washy, but who know's as Im told, we have bad blood.

I really can't understand this at all. I'm trying very hard to, but I'm failing miserably. I don't understand this "bad blood" thing at all. How can one's blood be an outcome with how a person is going to turn out? No one has that power. Then again, maybe I'm having a difficult time understanding this because I don't believe in superstitions.

Let's take BET for starters. What do you see? If a kid grows up and believes this is my culture I need to act this way or do this or wear this.

Then it's your job as the parent to show your child otherwise through example. You can't shelter your kids from stuff like that, but you can act as a role model for your kids. Be involved in the kid's life. Show them that not all African Americans act like the filthy stereotypes that BET spews out. Show that it's not a sin to study and try to make something of yourself. Go read Bill Cosby's book, "Wake up People!" Seriously! I find this to be a very bad excuse. It's you're giving up on parenting before you even become one and "assuming" that your child will automatically "assume" that just because blacks on television like BET glorify being a "thug" or "hood" that that's the way things are supposed to be. Show your child some positive black role models, which consists of doctors, inventors, philosophers, scientists, writers, etc.

I hate the fact that you're coming across as if only media and society has an influence on your kid. Family has a big bearing on how a child acts.

Media does play an active view in children lives. All I can do is install in my child good values. I know I can not be with the child 24/7 and be like this is wrong, dont give into peer pressure and things like that.

That's where teaching comes in. If you raise your child right from an early age, teach them as best as you can, then you just put trust into your child and hope it sticks with them.

I think if a child feels that it's apart of another culture that has good values, maybe it will become different and a well respected person and want to know more about it. Maybe my notions are flawed, but they can be fixed. I just want my kids to not turn out like my generation.

If the child grows up with an American, even if it's unintentional, the child will pick up on American ways through the parent(s) if the parent(s) is/are American.

Even if you do send your child to Japan, what about alcohol and smoking? Both of these are really common over there. There's a chance your child could become an alcoholic and a chain smoker, hypothetically speaking.

That aside, your child will not turn out like your generation...he/she'll turn out like the next generation.

Me on the other hand I feel I did good, I dont like to feed into the negative, but if you see it happens so many times how can you keep turning a blind eye and not wonder why it happens. Peer pressure was never an issuse for me, I dont follow the crowd. School was tough, but im still at it and doing a swell job if I dont say so myself.

Then why do you need to send your kid to Japan or have a Japanese child when you can instill these values in your child yourself?