Quote:
Originally Posted by Nathan
This is one of the reasons why I avoided a relationship during my stay in Japan. It did seem that people assumed a Japanese + gaijin couple would eventually end up in gaikoku. I knew that I wouldn't be in Japan long as an English "teacher".
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Japanese people don`t make the assumption as much. Occasionally I`ll be asked if we ever plan to live abroad, but usually they are more shocked that I don`t already have citizenship than anything else... And surprised to hear that you don`t automatically receive it by marrying a Japanese national.
To give the embassy worker a bit of slack - the health center here said something vaguely similar when I went to renew my son`s hospital insurance thing. "Wow! I never thought he`d last this long! Look everybody, the 400 grammer is still alive!" But at least they didn`t say that he would die to my face. (Not that I wasn`t thinking that myself, but it`s another story altogether.)
ETA: A bit off on a tangent, so not going to bother making a new post for this... But... Something that often annoys me about a lot of the other "international" couples in Japan is that the foreign side almost NEVER seems to take into account the feelings of the Japanese side in regard to where they will live. They assume that if the other party is marrying them, they will agree with moving away from Japan, no questions asked. This has been the #1 reason I have seen for marriages failing. Somehow the Japanese side`s desire to be near family or in a country where they speak the language well, etc, is virtually NEVER considered nearly as important as the foreign side`s desire to be close the *their* family and in the country they grew up in. I have never seen a marriage where this was an issue last.