Quote:
Originally Posted by SabakuNoUrei
Here goes nothing:
The story itself seems very interesting. I like it because its pretty original. Some parts of the beginning were a bit odd to me (A magical werewolf told me not to believe in fantasy so I did, even though I'm a five year old and an active imagination is normal for me. Did I mention that I'm listening to a werewolf's instruction? Since when do I listen to people, I'm five...maybe I didn't know said werewolf was a werewolf but I must be one obedient kid...). Here's another thing, in the selections you have revealed, it's hard for me to tell who is speaking and so, I get confused. There is little to no description like, what does alice look like, what does her violin look like, where does she live, is she rich, poor, middle-class, ect... And, should Alice's abilities be revealed so soon into the story? Of course, all this stuff may have been corrected in the manuscript but I can't see the original manuscript so I'm just telling you what I can and I hope it genuinely helps you out ^_^ It's really good and personally, I'd read it if I came across it in a store. What's the title?
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Alice The Fantasy Dreamer. and sorry about that my stupid spell check goes
through everything and will fix something that doesn't look quit right but its stupid.>^_^<and this is just a sneak peak because as you could see from the begining that it doesn't look like the begining of the story.>^_^<