[Koir]

Originally Posted by loveskyliemole

Yeah, you are right.

Right now, I have someone I really want to break up with.
It's not about a boyfriend, but a "customer".

She is a person doesn't understand how other people would feel,
she doesn't share with others, but try to get everything for her or only for her family.

I didn't know she was that bad.
Some people told me how unpleasant person she is for a friend, but
I wanted to believe "I" could change her...but I was totally wrong. She did this ugry attitude toward me too.
"Don't share, but getting everthing for herself" thing.

She is over 30. Her mind is settled.
It's so ugry to see people who acting greedy.

Everyone is talking bad things behind her back.
But the "bad things" aren't rumors but the true stories.
No one is gonna tell her that she should change otherwise she will loose something very important in the end.
Should I tell her?

Telling someone they need to change is one thing. Getting them to change, well...that is impossible. One of the necessary things to do on the road of maturity is being comfortable with who you are and the reasons you do things. In this case, she's chosen her path and there's nothing anyone else can do to change that in one stroke of effort.

Given that, I would make the effort (unless you have already) to actually confirm if these "bad things" are truthful or otherwise. Gossip is always bigger than facts and sometimes isn't made of facts at all.

I have the feeling that as time goes on, one of two things will happen. She'll keep on going the way she is, oblivious to all the damage she's doing to herself and her family until it all comes to an ugly end. Which is unfortunate and hopefully doesn't happen, but there is still the possibility.

To answer your question, I would only put forward your thoughts in the most constructive, nonjudgemental way you can. She may not react, she may be hostile, but at some level she will remember what you say. Not necessarily how you said it, but how she interprets it. The mind can be a very strange thing.

Well, seriously I didn't have "the first thing" to think of, really.
but now I have hahaha.

*chuckles* Eh heh heh...oops?

I'm going there on Tuesday and Wednesday.
On Thursday, I'm going to Tokyo.
I will spend over 10days there.
It's my summer break!

Have fun, Mayumi-san!

I want to forget everything about that customer who's been making me sick.

Nothing better than beautiful scenery, fresh air, and exercise to help the cares of the world slip off your shoulders for a while!

Koir, can you tell me about your relationship with people who you have chance to be with sometime?

Heh. That'll take a while...

Would you be honest with that person to tell her/him when she/he did something wrong? (especially when no one is going to tell them that)
Maybe it depends doesn't it?

It most definitely does depend. Humans don't all have the same instruction manuals :P

I have been a person who always wanted to be honest and tell the truth. Some appreciated, cos they actually knew they did something bad and others weren't happy about it, but cos no one told them so they had no chance to change it before.

Some would say it's destiny how you came into their lives and had the effect you did...

But some didn't admit it, and just did something back at me.Making up some bad stories about me, and trying to tell others to make them believe I was the bad one... usually it didn't work though, I still felt awful.

I believe you're a strong person and have gotten/will get past those unpleasant times. The people trying to ruin your reputation and hurt you will have that failure to think about along with their hatred and your all-too-true words.

Some told me that when people reached the certain age like over 25 or 30, their mindset is just settled and hard to change.
So I'd better understand the fact and change MY idea and stop tell them the truth and try to change.......

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't go cutting yourself off from those who may still need your help in the future. Just remember what you did before, what worked, what didn't, and why. And become more wise.

Can you give me your advice?

To the limit of my ability, I shall.