[Salvanas]

Originally Posted by xceeding

When I receive what I call "over-reaching hospitality" from a Japanese person it's hard to criticize because I know in their heart they are trying to be nice and are looking out for my well-being.

I am a 51 year old man who has been married 23 years to a Japanese woman whom I met during my first visit to Japan in 1979. (Let this be a warning to you single guys considering visiting Japan!)

My 15-year-old son who is perfect bilingual and doesn't look Japanese, especially being 6'1" tall, often comments that Japanese people won't respond back to him in Japanese when he speaks. I thought it was just me who experienced this and I only speak simple Japanese!

My Japanese in-laws are wonderful people, but I wish they would treat me like a member of the family rather than an "honored guest." They say things like, "Sorry, no bread tonight. Is rice okay?" And I say, "Yes, of course." For the millionth time! They often bark at the waiter or waitress at a restaurant to bring the foreigner a fork, while my son laughs out loud and I just smile, knowing they mean well.

I love the street side vendors in Japan that sell barbeque squid. I often have people stare at me as I eat my squid. Yes, I like Japanese food! But I smile and supress a laugh when Japanese people ask me, "Can you eat Japanese food, even SUSHI?"

There are parts of Japan that don't see foreigners often, and the stereotypes can be amusing. I admit, I've had some stereotypes of Japanese people as well.

Why is this in the relationship section? The stereotypes and what I call "over-reaching hospitality" come from my relationships with the Japanese people that I've met over the years; my friends, my wife, and my in-laws in Japan.

I appreciate the thoughtful replies to my thread. I thank you!

I wish the "flame-fiends" well.

I didn't mean ill, I just failed to understand as to why it was in the relationships section, which you have explained.

Although, I've only been to Japan once, but I've mixed with many people, then again I was in Kyoto, Nara and Tokyo the most, which might explain why I've never seen these happen to me.