[Salvanas]

Originally Posted by Nickel

Here is a link to my young adult novel called www. nobody cares. comI'll just post a link to the first chapter.

Chapter One

The idea is actually very interesting. However, the character is so very cliche.

Apart from that, Thirdsight pretty much summed up everything I think of it. You are off to a good start, there are some things that need to be changed though.