[Crani]

I once cut myself, while I was trying to peel an aple, and did I feel alive in that moment? No. Did I like the blood? Heck no. So what did I feel? Pissed, not alive or happy, just pissed. So if chopping yourself up is the only way you can continue living its going to be a long and hard life for you my friend, but Mr.Blady will always be with you, right? I suggest some sort of hobby (No cutting yourself doesn't count as one), an instrument (not torture instruments, but musical instruments) or videogames, like Sephy recommended.