Thank you Thirdsight and Salvanas!
Yes, I know I write as if it is going to be a movie, its because I generally write for my movies and detail is a hard thing for me.
I am going to explain why the city is broken, and the Devils Eye. I still have yet to come up with
how he got it. But it is important to the story. I know it was not very good to write the story before I figured out all the facts, it was just an idea that got drawn out.
The setting is hard, I know where these places are, what their histories are. I could explain why the city is broken, but that will take a long time. see i made up a world (which i love more than earth, probably unhealthy
) and the history is complicated. I am going to post the second chapter which i do not think is very good, and i did not edit it as much as the rest, but it may explain a bit more. oh, and it is not done yet. the end is not the real end i just have writers block.
Oh yes and the Elf thing, that is a base, and i think i have to have it in there. there are many levels of Nightwolf that i will add later.
Chapter two
The marketplace was packed; Nightwolf and the girl had arrived on the day of the Festival of Sunlight. The normally empty streets of Secan were now crowded, there were venders selling items from as far away as Mern. The streets were decorated with banners of red, orange, yellow, and gold. Jugglers and fire dancers lined the streets. Children raced in-between the stalls, waving wooden swords at each other. Bards sang their song of heroes long dead.
Nightwolf and the girl lingered in the shadows. Not wanting anyone to recognize him; Nightwolf had tied a strip of cloth over his face. He would not have come here if it wasn't for the girl; she had not spoken to him since he had found her, but he could tell she had not had anything decent to eat in a long time.
It was now as they stood at the entrance of the alleyway that she spoke, "where is all that music coming from?"
Nightwolf bent down and picked her up, "it's a festival, I think."
"What is it like?" The girl asked,
Nightwolf described it, every detail of it. He saw the girls face light up when he spoke of the fire dancers. She must have been able to see at one point. He thought.
"Are you hungry? I for one haven't eaten in days." Nightwolf scanned the venders for a baker.
The girl nodded.
"Okay then," Nightwolf smiled and set off towards a shabby vender selling bread.
A pretty young woman smiled at Nightwolf and the girl as they approached, "Hello loves, and what will two fine people like yourselves be wanting today?"
"Whatever we can get for this," Nightwolf dropped two gold pieces on the counter.
The woman smiled again and handed him two loafs of bread. Nightwolf nodded to her and strode off. He slipped one of the loaves into his bag and split the other in half, he handed one of the halves to the girl. She grinned at him taking a huge bite of the bread.
"You're very welcome!" He said removing his mask and taking a bite of his own bread.
*
now, the places....i don't know what to say about them, if i publish this there will be my map in the front.
I may be posting different stories too. being as this one is done.
thanks again for the critiquing my stories so far! all the advice is very helpful.
