[ZedKnightly]

to those who have been keeping up with my crap, thanks.

here is update as of 12pm today.

after the lunchbreak bell sounded, i was approached by her. i was still sitting here in my desk and was a bit suprised, then instantly became nervous.

she asked me if i had already decided on what gift to buy.
then she told me lots of ideas she had. she even go to the trouble of asking my girl officemates on what omiyage to buy for girls. and on her way home yesterday she stopped by a one shop, and looked at the possible gifts i can buy.
i got embarrased at all the trouble i put her through. at the same time feeling a little bit sad that i dont think she was considering going out with me together.
i know i said that clearly to her. i think...

i know i said to her to go together with me, but there is this chance that she might have not noticed it since she was thinking deep that time while murmuring to herself.

anyways, we talked for 10-15 mins here, telling me what i should do, what i should buy. then telling me that since she doesnt know the girls ill be buying the gifts for, she cant pick for them cause they might not like them. she doesnt know their size, etc (makes a good point)

but even though i got saddend by the fact that she cant / wont go together with me, i proved that i think i really love her. all the while shes talking to me all i can feel was my heart pounding, kept staring at her eyes. and saw the kindness in her more and more, to go through that trouble for me.

actually im a bit relieved that she wont go with me, cause my boss just put a heck lot of a workload for me and i wont be able to go home early today anyways..so had she said yes, that would have been a problem too.

before our discussion ended she asked me if i am busy. i said ill be busy till friday. wonder why she asked that.. (wondering, not hoping for something)

anyways, i dont know if i should be sad or not.
i know im falling for her. i am falling for her more n more.
the kindness she showed me, is it just a coverup cause she cant go?
whats ur opinion guys?

so.. what should my next move be?

by the way, after she left i immediately sent a message to her computer, said sorry for all the trouble i put her though.
i also said that since im not close with the filipina girls here, i cant ask them. then i said i have no girl friends here so shes all i can ask (which is true).
last part of the message was i said ill never forget to buy her a present from the philippines before i go back.

shes taking a lunch break now so she hasnt read it yet.

again.. so whats my next move here? what do u guys think of this?


critics will be appreciated.