[SimpleasThyme]

It wasn't the rejection that hurt so much, but what happened shortly after.

To be honest, it's only been about four years since then and yet I'm already beginning to forget it little by little. The girl I fell in love with was a miraculous fire in front of me. I got closer to her and felt her warmth, I saw the passion and love she held for her horses, and I guess I really didn't see that the fire was just a shell.

The closer I got the more the fire began to disappear before me and I began to see the flaws and the sadness within her also. Yet I was still captivated be her and still wanted to hold the dim flame before me. I wish I could say I know she had feelings for me, but perhaps that's nothing more than me wishing for it to have meant more. Finally I confessed, but she turned me down. We were both similar in a sense and we both were close so at the time it didn't make any sense to me. I asked her why, and she just told me that it would never work. Still I was stubborn and didn't give up and just stood by her as we continued to be good friends.

Then one day her fire was gone completely and all that was left was scorched Earth and a poisonous smoke filled the place where she had once stood. It was then that I understood why she remained distant. There was a message to tell me everything that had happened to her, all the pain that she had been dealing with. I never felt so stupid in my life. I had been so busy always trying to capture her flame that I never saw any of it and I constantly wonder what could've happened if I had been a real friend instead of seeking my own satisfaction.

Like I said, it wasn't so much the rejection that hurt. However, it was my most painful rejection and even as life goes on I'm pretty sure a part of me will never forget what happened so I can make sure that it doesn't happen again.