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sdbri (Offline)
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Posts: 26
Join Date: Feb 2009
02-26-2009, 08:45 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jizzeez View Post
I have a problem. My Japanese girlfriend keeps threatening to leave me if I don't save more money. She is 35 and lives with her parents. I am 37. She is a permanent company employee and I am a temporary worker. I try to defend myself by saying I have more expenses to pay and that as a foreigner it is very difficult to find a permanent position in Japan. She says she cannot see a future with someone with little savings and an unstable job. I should add that I used a large part of my savings on graduate school and have not been able to replace them yet with a well paid position. My girlfriend only attended two year college and has never left home. She often stays at my place and does buy household items and food occasionally. She also pays for herself when we go out. She also says that basically she believes a man should support his wife after marriage. I feel it is unlikely that I can have a modern 50/50 style marriage with this person. She has also mentioned that she is better at managing money than I am, despite the fact that she hands over all her paycheck to her mum and is given spending money that can be refreshed if necessary. She said she doesn't even know how much money she has in the bank! She is good with money and I know it is not so strange to live at home until marriage in Japan, but really! It's hard to take criticism from a women that is not yet living in the real world. What do you guys think?
My wife has friends like this, and the bottom line she's made it clear what she needs and you're going to have to accept it or be prepared to move on. Every person has different values, and these are hers. Hypocrisy and irony are irrelevant here.

Look at it from her perspective. She's 35 and is open to settling down if she finds a guy that can provide a stable life. You've been dating a while, and if you're not that guy both of you need to move on because time's ticking. It's for your good too!
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