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kyorochan (Offline)
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Posts: 51
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: The United States
04-07-2009, 02:53 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by lizzey View Post
Okay I started correcting your essay. Your introduction is a little bit confusing the way you have arrange some words. You just need to fix and take some unnecessary words. If you want to I can pm you some corrections to your essay. Overall I do get what your saying is just some structure problems.

The cause of adolescent children to begin smoking

Your first sentence is confusing. I made some changes.


Children who grow up watching their parents and other adults smoking have higher possibilities to smoke later in their life time.
Thank you for fixing!

But I do not know what the unnecessary words are...
English is vary hard to learn...

Could you please tell me what the unnecessary words are?

Thank you for helping me
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