[lizzey]

Originally Posted by kyorochan

Thank you for fixing!

But I do not know what the unnecessary words are...
English is vary hard to learn...

Could you please tell me what the unnecessary words are?

Thank you for helping me

What I mean by unnecessary words is that you add too much words in one sentence when you can say it in a simple clearer way. Like the first sentence you added so many words that makes your reader confuse. Your welcome! Don't worry English is not my first language either. I usually read my essays out loud so I can correct my mistakes. When is your essay due?