[Tsuzuki]

ρ（。。）イジイジ dunno where I can start (〜〜。 ) シクシク

but last night my friends told me I looks unhappy and some of them told me I didn't really smile or laught for a long time ~.~
Since I'm back from america I feel sooo bleh the place is just wrong ( I felt abit the same after I left germany) spain is just such a wrong place for me （−_−）ノシ・・・ハァ・・・
I visit my BF for 2 month in america we wanted to see how it it when we live so close toghether... this 2 month we had so many trouble and sad/bad happenings ( not with him and me) butwe could handle it all o(TヘTo) くぅ this 2 month where the happiest of my completly livetime ( who knows my past know why I sayed this) I felt happy inside ^^

but now ... after I had to go back to spain I lost my smile .............λ ))ｵｲﾃｶﾅｲﾃﾞｰｰｰ
it feels all just so wrong without him , I get more and more depressions always when I wake up in the moring my pillow is wet...and my eyes are red ( I don't even wanna cry but my heart does it whiele I sleep) I look every day at his pic and the tears start to run slowly...
I'm abit afraid of myself cuz last night I saw in my face how I smiled as I was sad with tears in my eyes 。・；´∧｀；・。 I know this .. I had it before but I hurt myself if I can't handle it I don't want that this happen again to me , I try to find something to keeps me happy but till now I failed ._.
and my BF is still out of the field I can't even call him I hate the army O.Q
I just wanna sleep... I hate this mood what I have right now it feels like slowly killing me from inside .
I think I started to love him completly thats why my heart can't live without him ;.;
but he is american and I german I know it will be hard that we can live easy together. I hope he can handle all so I can see him hopefully in august ;.;
but till then I need something to make me happy...
I hope someone has some Ideas Ｏｏ｡｡(￣_￣*)ぽあぁん