Quote:
Originally Posted by mercedesjin
It's okay. I don't mind having discussions on the Internet, but word choice and certain tones make talking on forums like this a little frustrating.
Yes, you did answer my question. You told me I won't be butchered, which is really all I wanted to know. I should have thanked you for responding with that, which I didn't, so I'm sorry. Thanks for letting me know.
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I am going to put this in a nice a way as possible, only because I have seen it happen with my own two eyes in Japan.
If choosing to use a word like "gays" (a word I didn't know now was off-limits until you just said so, despite the fact it has been used in LGBT literature for decades) sparks an emotional response in you, then I think you are going to need some thicker skin before moving to Kyoto.
One of my good friends when I lived in Japan was a very outgoing tall African American woman in her early 20s (like me she had just graduated from college). She was one of the most popular people I knew, and she often hosted events...a real leader...but it wasn't that many weeks or months that people started seeing a change. She got depressed, and I think a lot of it had to do with being so different in a place where so much is the same (hair color, uniforms, etc.) Put simply, she was sensitive to people's word choices and correcting stereotypes and language. Eventually it beat her down, and she snapped...lost touch with reality, and basically had to go home in a straight-jacket. (Her family had to fly to Japan and move her as she wasn't able to do so on her own.)
Like you mentioned the ignorance on the black in Japan thread, ignorance on this issue is probably rampant to western LGBT eyes. Gay people are generally called "homo". Transgenders are called "new half". Mixed race children are called "half". None of these words is meant to demean, it's just ignorance, but it is demeaning to native English speaking ears.
In Japan my friend tried to be a rock, but the biggest and strongest rock can eventually be chipped away. As a foreigner in Japan, you have to be water, because in the end water is stronger than the rock, but it means you have to go with the flow and choose your battles wisely.
I do appreciate your apology and I am not trying to diminish what you are fighting for in any way. I do not know you or anything about you besides what you shared, but your comments reminded me of my friend, and I wish she had understood that Japan will change you more than you will change Japan.