Quote:
Originally Posted by MMM
I am going to put this in a nice a way as possible, only because I have seen it happen with my own two eyes in Japan.
If choosing to use a word like "gays" (a word I didn't know now was off-limits until you just said so, despite the fact it has been used in LGBT literature for decades) sparks an emotional response in you, then I think you are going to need some thicker skin before moving to Kyoto.
One of my good friends when I lived in Japan was a very outgoing tall African American woman in her early 20s (like me she had just graduated from college). She was one of the most popular people I knew, and she often hosted events...a real leader...but it wasn't that many weeks or months that people started seeing a change. She got depressed, and I think a lot of it had to do with being so different in a place where so much is the same (hair color, uniforms, etc.) Put simply, she was sensitive to people's word choices and correcting stereotypes and language. Eventually it beat her down, and she snapped...lost touch with reality, and basically had to go home in a straight-jacket. (Her family had to fly to Japan and move her as she wasn't able to do so on her own.)
Like you mentioned the ignorance on the black in Japan thread, ignorance on this issue is probably rampant to western LGBT eyes. Gay people are generally called "homo". Transgenders are called "new half". Mixed race children are called "half". None of these words is meant to demean, it's just ignorance, but it is demeaning to native English speaking ears.
In Japan my friend tried to be a rock, but the biggest and strongest rock can eventually be chipped away. As a foreigner in Japan, you have to be water, because in the end water is stronger than the rock, but it means you have to go with the flow and choose your battles wisely.
I do appreciate your apology and I am not trying to diminish what you are fighting for in any way. I do not know you or anything about you besides what you shared, but your comments reminded me of my friend, and I wish she had understood that Japan will change you more than you will change Japan.
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Thanks, it's nice to hear this advice, and I will keep it in mind.
I've been called worst than "a gay" for being queer. I was just trying to alert you, let you know in a kind way before you offended someone. It's not a bad thing to learn something new. That's the approach I take when it comes to going to any new country, not only Japan. Going to college in NY was my first time living in the USA. I spent a summer in Sendai (though I wasn't openly gay then.) In both places, I learned many new things about different cultures, and I tried to exchange knowledge by teaching. I want to go to other countries so that I can teach about different cultures, and learn from them at the same time.
Yes, there are ignorant terms in Japan - the innocent kind of ignorant - and if I hear those terms I would say that those words are offensive in my country. If I ever see a golliwogg doll for sale, I would like to go to the manager and talk to them about the history of the doll. When I was in Sendai, someone asked me if I was related to Rihanna, because we're both from the West Indies. I told them no, not all people from the West Indies are related. That's just the approach I take, wanting to learn and teach.