Quote:
Originally Posted by Tenchu
I hear you, don't worry. I know it was a poor thing to say. I understand how hard it must be.
I think my Chuekie is pregnant again (after so long trying; first one miscarriaged). We both say we cannot take care of one if it isn't 100%. We wouldn't keep it, so you must be bold.
|
You would be surprised.
I figured the last thing I would want would be to have a disabled kid. Physical disability, yeah, I figured I could handle that - but mental disability? No way.
Then stuff happened. I tried to make the choice to let my son die (he was technically a miscarriage, if I were to go into detail - he was about to die inside and be naturally aborted from what I understand) but he was past viability so was extracted and put in the hospital.
There was no way to know what would happen, and things were happening quickly enough that there really wasn`t a point where you could say "Wait, I don`t want this kid." All I could do was stand by an incubator and hope that if he was going to have a poor quality of life that he pass away quickly and with little suffering.
And then after 5 months when he was released from intensive care we got the news on the brain damage (not a huge surprise) but after all that time it wasn`t as if you could just say no to taking him home.
Most of the time you don`t know the kid has a disability until they`ve been around for years and you`ve gotten attached and invested a bunch of time and money into them. And at that point, I think it would be very hard to just call it quits - especially when you really don`t know how bad things will be until the kid is a lot older. Even more so if most everything else is close to perfect.
Disability or not, my son is still one of the best behaved kids I know. And that is saying a lot as most parents are fairly attentive in Japan. Behaving like a spoilt brat is never cute. Even with an "excuse" I still wouldn`t tolerate that crap. Run around in a store messing with stuff? We`re leaving, NOW. I cannot stand people who just stand by giggling as their kid breaks every rule of being in public. Sure, it may seem cute at 2, but how about at 4 or 5? You`ve just been supporting their behavior all along so it will really come back and bite you when you decide they`re too old for it.