[YuriTokoro]

Originally Posted by OzukakiBurasuki

"cats’ death." - It should probably be "cat's death" because even though you mean one of your cats, the death is happening to one cat.

Hi. OzukakiBurasuki. オズカキ・ブラスキ？
Now I see, I should have written “It’s the anniversary of death of one of my cats”.
Hmm…Using “of” three times seems to be annoying.
Anyway, “It’s the anniversary of one of my cats’ death.” sounds strange. You are right.

"to them to cremate it." - It would be more natural to just say "to cremate it." and leave "to them" out the second time because you already told us before "16,000 yen" that you were paying them.

Japanese people always leave out so many words when we speak Japanese, that I try to be careful not to leave words out in English, but I don’t seem to know how to write English naturally.

"the company gives notice me" - Most english-speakers would probably of used past tense in this. It would most likely be worded as "the company gave notice to me" instead.

“The company gave notice to me every year” Is this right?

"I would have a grave in a yard" - It would be better to exchange "have" with "need" since readers would understand if you would need a grave yet if you just say they "would have" it doesn't explain your situation.

Sorry, I don’t understand.
“I would need a grave in a yard if I lived in the countryside.” sounds different from what I wanted to mean.
It sounds like that “I live in the city, so I don’t need a grave.”
Should I have written “I would be able to have a grave in a yard.”?

"but here in Kawasaki, people... " - It would probably be helpful if you dropped the "but" and started a new sentence with "Here in Kawasaki" because you have a large run-on sentence already with many commas. It might be fine the way it is, but it would be better to start a new sentence so it wouldn't confuse readers.

OK. Short sentences are better.
I used to be told to connect sentences in English conversation classes. I thought that sentence was not long, but it was too long. OK.

"when I still have a cat of my mother" - It would most likely be more useful if you change this sentence to "when I still have my mom's cat" since many English-speakers don't use "of" much. They prefer to use apostrophes to show possession. (i.e. mom's cat)

I didn’t know you prefer apostrophes. Thanks.

"So, of course the cat named Chihsuke is very cute." - Many American readers would probably not expect this and would write the same thing, but "So, of course" would need another comma after since you are using that "of course" as an extra, unneeded part of the sentence.

I don’t understand “Many American readers would probably not expect this and would write the same thing,” This sentence wasn’t supposed to be written, and you would write the same thing?????

Besides that, nice translation.

Thanks a lot, OzukakiBurasuki.