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Originally Posted by QueenNanami
I dont feel it is selfish for him to ask her wait for his dream. A year is a long time to break up and expect something that may not happen. In a year she would have most likely moved on or tried to. Not to mention if they just break up it could hurt her really badly and she may not want to come back to him knowing the pain he caused her before.
If they love each other i feel they can find a way to work things out, but maybe him taking our advice might not be the answer, Sometimes you have to figure it out on your own. He needs to talk to his girlfriend and find out how she feels. They can go over the options they have
A long distance relationship, break up, or move together.
Im sure if they talk about it they can find what works for them. Who knows maybe she will want to go with him or maybe she would want to end the relationship because she cant deal with what is going on.
I think they need to find a way to work it out together.
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That is where you make it CLEAR the reasoning behind it. It would be pretty hard for her to be upset if she were told that he wanted her to wait for him, but didn`t want to force her to or make her lonely while he was away... So "set her free" so to speak, with the wish that she`ll still be waiting.
In the end, it`s all just words. They`re not married, nor are they engaged. It`s not like this is suddenly calling off a wedding. If the feelings are strong enough, she`ll wait regardless of whether there is a "we`re officially dating!" sticker on there or not. And it goes the other way - if she were going to move on, she`ll do so regardless. Only with that official little title there, it will just cause pain for both sides if that happens in the end. If the relationship NEEDS to have something stopping both sides from forgetting about the other, there wasn`t much to it in the first place.
A year is a very long time at that point in life. Both will be quite different individuals at the end of that year. I think it would be a much better outcome for them to get to know each other again after he comes back than trying to maintain a relationship over that length of time.
And if she freaks out about the possibly temporary breakup and wants him to give up his dream, chances are that is a pattern that will continue through life. Let her free to do as she wishes (including waiting) and come back an improved individual.