[MMM]

Originally Posted by mercedesjin

I do value emotion over logic. It's for that reason that I feel people need to be careful of what they say, for it can feel like someone is discriminated against. For example, earlier in this thread, I felt like someone had suggested that - because people wear baggy clothes - they're "thugs." I felt discriminated against and stereotyped in that instance. I feel like the person who said that is responsible.

Let's just say he said that "people that wear baggy clothes are thugs". The fact that you felt discriminated against and stereotyped makes little sense to me because there is no possible way for anyone on this forum to know what kind of clothes you wear.

(It can't be because of your race, because people of all races wear baggy clothes.)

Originally Posted by mercedesjin

If there was a misconception, then that person had plenty of time throughout this thread to explain that they weren't discriminating and why. If the Chinese chef explained to you why they weren't discriminating against you, then - to me - everything is just fine and dandy.

I feel like your are flip-flopping because you said people are responsible for the feelings others have. So the chef tells me the table called in first. I don't believe him, and I still feel discriminated against. Is he still responsible? It would be my argument that the chef was never responsible for my miconceptions and feelings in the first place. He did no wrong, so he has nothing to feel responsible for.

Originally Posted by mercedesjin

I completely disagree with the idea of "you made yourself cry." If someone says something mean and hurts another person's feelings, that person shouldn't be expected to "suck it up." Human beings are emotional creatures. A natural response to pain is to cry. If someone was mean, then they're directly responsible for making that person cry.

Crying isn't a natural response to pain, it is a learned behavior. Take a baby that always gets a reaction and picked up when it cries and take a baby from a crowded orphanage that was never held when it cried. If you were to give them both the same painful experience when they were a little older (I am not saying we should really do it) like a smack on the buns, and one toddler will more than likely cry and one won't.

Now, of course I am still responsible for my actions, but there are levels. If I call you a dummy and you cry, I am a mean person. If I call you a dummy and you commit suicide, am I a murderer?

I understand the concept that "you made me do something", but I think it's a cop out. Again, it becomes more clear if you push it out.

Let's say I cheat on my girlfriend...certainly a terrible thing to do. Let's say she is so upset that she kills me. Now I certainly made her upset, but does she then have no responsibility for her actions because I made her so mad she killed me?

Let's say instead of cheating on her, I broke a dish, and she got so upset she killed me? Is that my responsibility?

At what point are people responsible for their own emotions?

People say "I am an emotional person" and that usually says to me "I let people get to me, and don't take responsibility for my illogical [read: emotional] reactions to what people do or say."

Originally Posted by mercedesjin

Eh, I feel like we definitely need to agree to disagree at this point. Again. We just have different personalities, and we'll keep going around in circles over this issue.

No point in going on forever, but it is an interesting topic.