[clintjm]

Originally Posted by Nyororin

I guess I was understanding his message in a different way than you have. To me, it appeared he was asking whether bringing an adopted child into Japan was a possibility. Not whether he would be a good parent, or whether any country would allow him to adopt a child. I leave that judgement up to those who actually make those decisions.
If it were impossible to bring an adopted child into Japan, it would be a moot point from day one.

No argument here.

Originally Posted by Nyororin

I can`t say I have a high opinion of the choice to raise a child as a single parent. Especially at an age where it is completely and totally possible that he will decide to have a relationship later on. A child could (99% chance) seriously complicate that.
But - if he is totally serious about not being interested in a relationship, marriage, or the problems adopted a child before that could bring... I still see it as better for a child to have one parent than NO parents. Any adopted child will be entering a "foreign" environment, even if adopted in their own country.

Your foreign environment excludes the language, culture, societal and physically looking different than everyone else. That adds "a little" more stress I would say.

There are reasons "one parent" adoptions are more difficult to do.

But I agree this is NOT a death sentence for the child, in fact its a very good experience to grow up in Japan... however the good with the bad is the label being placed on a child in the imaginary situation this thread has setup.

Originally Posted by Nyororin

You can say the same thing about most other countries too... In fact, I think it would be very hard to find a country where this does not happen. Does such a perfect place even exist?? That reasoning would still apply to any non-Japanese child in Japan.

This is true, but it is amplified CONSIDERABLY in Japan.
And yes that reason would apply to any non-Japanese child in Japan PLUS if the fact is known by society that the child is adopted and / or single parent.

Japanese place blood related parents and family history on a much higher pedistal than the western world.

Originally Posted by Nyororin

Is it negligent or irresponsible to bring or have a biological child into Japan if you are not Japanese?

Nope. Never said otherwise.

Originally Posted by Nyororin

This may be true. I don`t know. If they judge him unsuitable to be an adoptive parent, then they do. All I know is that IF he were able to adopt, he could indeed bring the child into Japan as a dependent if they are under 6.

No argument... never was on this.

Originally Posted by Nyororin

You seem to be taking ijime as a given. That it will DEFINITELY happen no matter what. I don`t believe that`s the case, unless we count pretty much every childhood issue as "ijime". But if we do so, every child out there is going to have been bullied as a child.

Given cases single parent adopted child that is not Japanese living in Japan... you couldn't paint a bigger target on him or her.

Originally Posted by Nyororin

If they are advertising the fact that they are not Japanese, perhaps so. But if they are just THERE, yes - I do believe that I am correct. It`s a matter of appearance. If they look Japanese enough, then they will pass as Japanese if they have been in Japan long enough and have picked up the typical Japanese mannerisms.

I agree with you to an extent... but eventually something gives... Gossip of children is ruthless. Physical traits... A shade darker skin , a different tint of hair .... kids find these things like no other.... things the non-japanese learns from their parents come through.


I'm sorry but most native Japanese can pick out a non-japanese asain given a long enough period of time. It doesn't matter is that Asain has lived their for 90% of their life.
There are exceptions I know.. but this is the majority of the time.


To the other side of this: I see in books, tv programs, articles, even dramas that Japan is recognizing these problems of discrimination based on these traits... so I have hope that public gets educated more and it becomes a trend and learned little good comes from this.
It will be lessened and become more like America, but just like America racism still exists.

Blood relatives and knowing the family tree will always be an issue in Asia and Japan.

Originally Posted by Nyororin

No, I see it as so because you have yet to write anything that is not mostly negative. When you have written things that do not emphasis negative aspects, or do not sound like you are picking a fight (as your exchanges with Tsuwabuki sound) I may change my opinion.

Frankly this thread especially nor the other thread do not have the subject of painting Japan in a positive light. And yes I typed up to Tsuwabuki because frankly in both threads the references he made to all of USA and "westerners" was derogitory to say the least (as in post #11 of this thread) and enough in the other thread "whats is like" so even post #33 agrees with Tsuwabuki "yes i dont like america and i live there".
He has stated why he doesn't like the condition of the USA in comparison of Rural Kyoto a little too much for my taste...

So I believe negative aspects is the context of the discussion in this thread. Again I'll post some happy ones in the proper group and thread when appropriate..

Originally Posted by Nyororin

Family and friends are people, individuals. Not a country or culture. I never said you hated Japanese *people*.

I beg to differ. What is a culture or society without their people?
To me that is exactly what you wrote.

To note: The word hate never entered this thread until you posted it.. so lets be careful throwing that word around in the thread.

Originally Posted by Nyororin

You apparently perceive my writing to be that of a "youngster" because it doesn`t agree with you.

I think that goes hand in hand.

Originally Posted by Nyororin

I went to part of high school, attended and graduated university in Japan, have been married (in Japan, to a Japanese citizen) for 8 years, have a child with lifelong disabilities, and have medical issues preventing me from having another if I don`t want the same thing to happen. Oh, and I`m not an English teacher either. Right now, I`m unemplyed because of that child with disabilities thing going on - but before that I was a translator/interpreter.

On a very serious note I'm am very sorry to read this. I can only try to understand the struggles you , your husband and your child face because of the medical issues.

I wish only the best for your family in having additional child if you decide to do so, or the so said discussion of adoption. This is not pitty or anything else of the sort. I live in a very similar situation as far as us having a child of our own.

Originally Posted by Nyororin

I just find it interesting that you seem to think it would be natural for someone to share your feelings toward Japan if they`d actually lived here for any significant amount of time.
How long do you consider "long enough"?

You completely lost me here.
Guessing at your question: How long does it take to be Japanese? Never.

Living in Japan for 5-10-20-30-50-100 years willl never make you Japanese in the eyes of Japanese... that not 100% of the population. Favortism based on Race in all aspects of Japanese society exist, but even though the norm there are exception: heck look at the president of Nissan Motors. But that is the norm and that is the majority of public opinion. I'm speaking only of popular opinion. Friends and stranger will most likely discard this opinion only to save face.


Religion, if I may change the subject, is the only exception I've seen that transends all this with the Japanese if you are not Japanese. (But I could be wrong there, just from what I've seen)

Originally Posted by Nyororin

Then that is an issue with the administrator. I`ve experienced nothing but positive responses from any inquiries. We made the choice not to go ahead with adoption at this specific point simply because of issues with our biological child.
Legally, it isn`t.

Administrator: Possibly. The fact that we now currently reside outside of Japan, despite my wife's citizenship may have bearing, despite the option of moving back to Japan. My employer is outside of Japan which also may have bearing.

I got the same message "legally it isn't" but the side bar I spoke of was telling us the final decision would weigh heavily against you because of said circumstances... basically "we can try but the years waisted trying would be spent better outside of Japan"

Originally Posted by Nyororin

Then look outside Japan. That is how long all the adoptive parents (Japanese) I have encountered have needed to wait. I`ve never heard of anyone receiving a child before 3 or 4.

<Edited out>

Originally Posted by Nyororin

I guess all those "international" couples I know who adopted a child in Japan must not be real then. I mean, they shouldn`t have been able to do it because one of them was a foreigner, right? I`m really sad to hear you`re ready to simply give up because of the response of one administrator. But it is your choice, I suppose.

Food for thought indeed. This ridiculous thread has bore fruit.
Thank you for that.