[Nyororin]

Originally Posted by clintjm

There are reasons "one parent" adoptions are more difficult to do.

I definitely agree with this - If a qualified two parent home is available, it should definitely receive priority. A child left parentless in the system seems a lost worse than being raised by a decent single parent though.

But I agree this is NOT a death sentence for the child, in fact its a very good experience to grow up in Japan... however the good with the bad is the label being placed on a child in the imaginary situation this thread has setup.

Thank you, I am very glad to hear this. I believe that you really have to weigh things... Which would be better in the long run for a child - a loving parent but a perhaps less than ideal outside environment, or being parentless in a situation close to emotional neglect in many cases (the poorer the country, the less they dedicate to care of orphans...)
Having seen children coming from orphanages in Asia having absolutely no social skills and still being close to an infant in terms of language even at 5 or 6... I find it very hard to think that the child would have a better life if left in that sort of system.

Japanese place blood related parents and family history on a much higher pedistal than the western world.

If you`re Japanese, yes. But those rules hardly apply if you are not.

I agree with you to an extent... but eventually something gives... Gossip of children is ruthless. Physical traits... A shade darker skin , a different tint of hair .... kids find these things like no other.... things the non-japanese learns from their parents come through.

Watch a Japanese kid in Japanese school. The exact same thing happens, I assure you. Bullying is a huge problem, but it is certainly not limited to those with obvious differences.
Either way, there are kids who are half/non-Japanese who make it through school experiencing no "extra" bullying based on race or nationality. You`re right that it makes things easier for someone looking to bully, but it really depends on a lot more than that.

I'm sorry but most native Japanese can pick out a non-japanese asain given a long enough period of time. It doesn't matter is that Asain has lived their for 90% of their life.
There are exceptions I know.. but this is the majority of the time.

Most of China/Taiwan and Korea can pass with absolutely no problem IF they`ve been raised in Japan. If they haven`t, well, it`s not hard at all to tell for pretty much anyone. We know quite a few families in Japan from Taiwan whose children (going by a Japanese name) have zero problems and no one would ever know they weren`t Japanese if they didn`t tell. There are enough Japanese with "non-typical" Japanese features that even if there was something that set them apart their language skill and mannerisms would blot it out.
I definitely agree though when it comes to southern Asia, etc.

To the other side of this: I see in books, tv programs, articles, even dramas that Japan is recognizing these problems of discrimination based on these traits... so I have hope that public gets educated more and it becomes a trend and learned little good comes from this.
It will be lessened and become more like America, but just like America racism still exists.

Things will take time, but it is gradually improving. I too hope that public opinions change toward the better.

Frankly this thread especially nor the other thread do not have the subject of painting Japan in a positive light. And yes I typed up to Tsuwabuki because frankly in both threads the references he made to all of USA and "westerners" was derogitory to say the least (as in post #11 of this thread) and enough in the other thread "whats is like" so even post #33 agrees with Tsuwabuki "yes i dont like america and i live there".
He has stated why he doesn't like the condition of the USA in comparison of Rural Kyoto a little too much for my taste...

I can`t say I`d make the choice to live in America at this point, but, on the other hand, I don`t feel I`m qualified to make many statements about the current state of affairs there. It`s been a very long time since I lived outside of Japan and we have no plans to leave the country. I don`t know the condition of the US these days, so really cannot comment on it.

So I believe negative aspects is the context of the discussion in this thread. Again I'll post some happy ones in the proper group and thread when appropriate..

I`ll take your word for it, as you seem like a decent and intelligent person when not making snide comments to Tsuwabuki.

I beg to differ. What is a culture or society without their people?
To me that is exactly what you wrote.

There are always exceptions. A lot of people (trolling) will come in here saying they can`t stand Japan - except for their spouse and a hand picked selection of friends who "aren`t like everyone else". I`m not saying this is the case with you, but I believe it`s possible to like/love someone even if you have an extremely negative view of the country they live in/are from. I`m sure that those on here who say they hate the US, etc etc would be hard pressed to say they hated every individual there. (That is where the hate thing came from, I apologize as it wasn`t specifically directed toward you or describing what I thought you felt, etc.)

I think that goes hand in hand.

So anyone out there close in age or in length of experience with Japan is going to naturally agree with you about it?
......
People are all different, you know...

On a very serious note I'm am very sorry to read this. I can only try to understand the struggles you , your husband and your child face because of the medical issues.

I wish only the best for your family in having additional child if you decide to do so, or the so said discussion of adoption. This is not pitty or anything else of the sort. I live in a very similar situation as far as us having a child of our own.

Thank you, honestly, for the kind words. I wish you luck too, and that you and your family stay healthy and happy.

You completely lost me here.
Guessing at your question: How long does it take to be Japanese? Never.

That isn`t what I was asking. You said "I understand you have beer glasses on now being young and in Japan now... , one day you will understand if you continue to live in Japan. "
I was asking how long would be long enough, in your opinion, to "understand" - as you put it. I`ve lived in Japan quite some time so I find it sort of hard to imagine my feelings/opinions are going to change in any drastic way after a certain point.

Religion, if I may change the subject, is the only exception I've seen that transends all this with the Japanese if you are not Japanese. (But I could be wrong there, just from what I've seen)

I haven`t had any experiences with religion in Japan, so I really don`t know if this is the case. We only do the typical religious stuff, and as far as religion itself goes fall into the "normal" Japanese cross between Buddhism, Shintoism, and nothing at all.

Administrator: Possibly. The fact that we now currently reside outside of Japan, despite my wife's citizenship may have bearing, despite the option of moving back to Japan. My employer is outside of Japan which also may have bearing.

That may be the case. Those I know who successfully adopted inside Japan were here for the long haul, presumably for the rest of their lives. I do think they obtained UK and US citizenship for the children without difficulty though.
Japan isn`t too keen on adopting OUT of Japan. Inside Japan, I don`t think that race makes much difference... And may even go in your favor if the child is mixed race. (At least that is what I have been told in all our inquiries.)

I got the same message "legally it isn't" but the side bar I spoke of was telling us the final decision would weigh heavily against you because of said circumstances... basically "we can try but the years waisted trying would be spent better outside of Japan"

Now that I know a bit more, I will agree. Some countries are happy to adopt their kids out, some refuse. Japan lies very very close to the refusal line. There may be no official policy against it, but you`re definitely going to have a LOT of trouble.
I have heard that it`s easiest for Japanese/foreign couples outside Japan to adopt a child from Korea. Whether that is true, I don`t really know... Second, third, etc, hand info.

Been working on it. You would be surprised though how little Japanese or partial Japanese are actually available from state to state (USA) ... but yes it is our hope.

Good luck to you, and I mean it honestly. I have heard (again, second or third hand information) that it is somewhat easier to find a Japanese/part-Japanese child for adoption in Hawaii.
Is there no possibility of adopting a child who is not of Japanese heritage?