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Originally Posted by bELyVIS
If I was home and my wife worked I would keep up the house and other things so she could just relax when she got home. But what would I know being sexist as I am.  |
My husband did the same when I was working and he wasn`t. (In school, but not close to the hours of a full time job). I think it`s more that Japanese guys (and women, in fact) believe in caring for the children within the family if at all possible. This means that if it is financially possible one of the parents stays home and takes care of the child - and as breastfeeding is the way to go, the mother already stays home for quite a while anyway... So she is generally the one to leave work and take care of the kids while dad is at work.
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Even under circumstances where a child isn't disabled, it's difficult to raise a child. It's difficult to keep a house clean and in order. It's a full-time job, well into the night after the main breadwinner - man or woman - has returned home. And, unfortunately, in the culture that I've been raised in, not much value is placed on the partner who stays at home. Not much value it put on the person who cooks, cleans, and raises the children. More value is placed on making money.
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I think this is the big difference. A dedicated caretaker and stay-at-home parent is given value, and quite a lot at that. A good parent is a highly valued part of the community, and not someone told to stay at home and slave away. They RUN the home, the neighborhood, etc. It`s not like being discarded out of a workforce - it`s just another path. As you say, parenting is hard work. Producing productive children for the future is something which a lot of value is placed upon in Japan. The attitude of a lot of women when they are staying home is that the husband is out working FOR her benefit - he works at her command and brings the money home to her in return for a place to sleep and food - because she is busy with the truly important things... Like raising children (the future) and maintaining the "real" world outside of a company`s walls. Men are valued for their ability to create money - and that is the main thing. Women have power over what happens with that money and with the future via their children.
It really is a difference in culture. I`m sure I would feel differently if not making money were thought of as inferior.