Quote:
Originally Posted by mercedesjin
Do you have a disabled child? If you do, then I really am sorry. Suddenly, all of the discussions we've had about this topic in the past make sense to me.
It's my personal opinion, however, that it's not fair anyone should have to automatically assume a prescribed role under any circumstances, just because of their gender or their race or their sexual orientation. If I had a disabled child and I had a husband, I wouldn't want him to say that I'm the woman, and so I have to stay at home.
Even under circumstances where a child isn't disabled, it's difficult to raise a child. It's difficult to keep a house clean and in order. It's a full-time job, well into the night after the main breadwinner - man or woman - has returned home. And, unfortunately, in the culture that I've been raised in, not much value is placed on the partner who stays at home. Not much value it put on the person who cooks, cleans, and raises the children. More value is placed on making money.
This becomes apparent when the partners decide to become separated and, through legal divorce, one person wins more money and benefits than the other. Usually, it's the person who has worked for the money that will get more out of the divorce. I've read about situations where the ones who stayed at home don't get anything, and are completely screwed over, even they've worked very hard for however long their partnership lasted.
I don't think it's much of a coincidence that it's usually the woman who is expected to stay at home.
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Not much value is placed on the person staying at home raising the child in your culture? That is sad.
I don't think that is true at all in Japan. As I have stated in the past, women tend to quietly "wear the pants" in Japanese families. Not only do they do the housework and raise the children, they also are in charge of the finances. The father's job is to make money, so it is a team situation.
Some people think it is sexist if a man does one thing (makes money) and a woman does another (raises family). That seems a little silly to me, and this idea that everybody should do everything is a terrible model. Name a successful business where everybody does everything. There is nothing sexist about having roles. Especially if those roles are considered valuable.