[Nyororin]

Originally Posted by mercedesjin

Nyororin: At this point, I kind of feel like we're going back and forth based on what we feel and what we know... I don't know about you, but I don't have any statistics handy to prove my points. So, I don't know, I almost feel like saying whatever it is I want to say is a little pointless. Saying, "yeah, well, I know a lot of women who've never had any jobs" is kind of pointless because that's just my experience. I don't know the numbers nationally for the USA or Japan.

No, I would believe you entirely. Japan and the US are different cultures, and value is placed in different locations. I can only tell you what I know from my experiences and my knowledge, just as you can only do the same from yours. I believe you may be entirely right about little value being placed upon those who stay-at-home, and that there are tons of women out there left with nothing because of it. I have absolutely no reason to doubt this is the case, as I was born in the US and spent the first chunk of my life there. (Raised by grandparents, by the way, after my mother divorced my father.)

The fact is, things are different in Japan. I am just offering the information of how things are here.

It's kind of the same as the single parent situation. Neither of us know how many successful single parents they are. I know I personally feel that it's entirely possible. There are plenty of single successful mothers and fathers who are out there, making it work. They bring their child to work, they take their child to grandma's house, they take their work home... I've seen it. Not with a CEO, no, but with other pretty demanding jobs. Again, I don't have statistics, but I know it can work based on my experience.

I totally believe it can work, and that there are wonderful successes. But I don`t believe it is in the best interest of the child. That is different from saying it is impossible. There are great success stories out there. The thing is, having actual background in studying childhood development, it`s NOT in the best interest of the child. Can some children adjust and thrive? Of course. But it`s not the best situation, and never will be. For those single parents who ended up that way, I am entirely supportive of. I can`t say I feel the same for a single parent who knew ahead of time but still decides to have a child and have someone else raise it for them. If you do not have the time or ability to dedicate yourself to being the best possible parent to that child, it is selfish to choose to have one. That is the huge difference in my eyes. I don`t even think people with demanding jobs should choose to have pets who they have little time for, let alone children. It`s nothing wrong with their job, it`s that they are making the choice to bring a child into a situation that will never be in the best interest of that child.

ETA;

And what about abusive fathers? What about abusive mothers? Do you think it's better to have an abusive parent than to not have both?

That means that it would be better to have a single parent, as it would not be in the best interest of the child to be in an abusive situation. But that doesn`t mean that a single parent would be the best path for any child.