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Originally Posted by Nyororin
A child typically sleeps 12+ hours a day until they are school aged.
Let us say that single parent here works ONLY 8 hours a day, on the dot, every day. That leaves 4 waking hours for the child. Maybe one in the morning, add another for the trip to work and back, and we have 2 hours left in the evening for "parenting".
75% of the child`s life is spent being cared for by someone else. 75% of the most important developmental periods in a child`s life is in the hands of someone OTHER than the parent. If this is a grandparent or steady caretaker, then it`s a *better* situation than the typical daycare - where people quit and new people come in all the time. Unfortunately, most of the time it is a typical daycare to which the child goes.
But in the end, normally people wouldn`t consider 2~3 hours with a babysitter or grandparent having them "raise" the child - but yet are happy to say they are raising the child when their time spent may be even less.
I have acquaintances in the US who are full time workers and single parents. They eat breakfast with their children, deliver them to daycare... Then come home and pay the babysitter for picking the kid up from daycare and watching them until they slept. Give their baby a kiss on the forehead, then repeat the next day.
How can this be considered a good and responsible parent? It baffles me. (ETA; And they are completely confused as to why the child doesn`t listen to them, has bonding issues, or speech delays.)
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I know people like that too. And that, I think we can both agree on, is bad parenting. On the other hand, I don't know many parents who spend every waking hour with their child until they're ready to go to school. I guess here, we can say that it's not black and white. There are gray areas where parents can and do leave their children for a few hours, and they're perfectly fine.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nyororin
I don`t think my life has ended since having a child? Some things have become more inconvenient, but that is about it.
I don`t have a problem with a parent having a career. The thing is, why have a child if you`re not going to be the one raising it? When there is no choice - unexpected pregnancy, divorce, etc - I don`t have any problems with it. But choosing to have a child you`ll barely have any time for just seems incredibly selfish to me.
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They should THINK about this before choosing to have a child. I am against people CHOOSING to have a child when they cannot be a responsible parent. Sometimes you have to think about priorities. If you are a single woman, totally dedicated to your career - that career is your priority. No one is going to force you to have a child. It is a choice.[/quote]
If they're going to act like how the parents you described above acted, then yes. That's selfish. It's not selfish if they work hard and actually raise their child at the same time, though. It can't work with the regular 9-5 job, no - but maybe I'm imagining myself in my own career path. I want to be a writer. I think it's possible to be a writer and work from home while taking care of a child.
Here, again, I guess it's just a gray situation. No, a parent can't raise a child while they're working all day, everyday. Yes, a parent can raise a child while they're working from home, or able to bring the child with them to work, or have a close relative or family friend watch the child if there's every anything the parent must do without the child.