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Columbine (Offline)
Busier Than Shinjuku Station
 
Posts: 1,466
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: United Kingdom
10-10-2009, 02:09 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by YuriTokoro View Post
Hi.
Could you correct my English, please?
I only made a few basic corrections so that it still sounds like your writing. If you want, you could try making some of the sentences longer.

"Farewell Party"

I gave a farewell party for one of my friends from a belly dancing class.
She is going to Kobe which is very far away from Kawasaki. I will miss her. When I did belly dancing for the first time at a belly dancing party, she danced with me. It was a lot of fun to practice together, and to talk about the costumes for the party.
We were sad to say good-bye, so we took many pictures with her on the return road.
I hope she is happy in Kobe.

Does 'we' mean you and your friend, or you and the class? It would help if you made it clear who you mean in the last part.
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