[KyleGoetz]

Originally Posted by duo797

Someone else correct me if I'm wrong but I believe 仕事 is a job as in a full time job, and I got the feeling that you were a student.

You should avoid using pronouns like 'he' and 'she' as a beginner, because your instinct will be to use it any time we would in english. I'm sure it's used sometimes, but you definitely don't need it here. I would've said コウといいます。 'She is called Koh'. I believe that 私の名前はディです pattern is just a basic way you're taught to introduce yourself as a foreigner that is never really used by native speakers.

背が高くておもしろくてかわいいです。
You had a decent sized spelling error for おもしろい

I can't tell you how to say 'born and raised' because I'm not sure and I think it's more of a set phrase in english.

In the final sentence, the を you're using marks a direct object. There is no direct object in your sentence and there doesn't need to be one. I can't say I've ever seen を used with the verb 来る。 I might just say 'Last year, she came to america.' 去年アメリカに来ました。

Good luck writing your story, I hope I've helped.

Born and raised: “born and raised”の検索結果（13 件）：英辞郎 on the Web：スペースアルク

born and raised in
《be ～》～で生まれ育つ、生まれも育ちも～である
Because that's where I was born and raised. I have a lot of friends there.
ママは東京で生まれ育ったからよ。東京にはお友達がた くさんいるの。