[Sangetsu]

"Greatness" is a relative term. What is great to some may be trivial to others. I don't agree that greatness requires the "presence of others". "Participation of others" or "interaction with others" would likely be better phrases.

"Absolute perfection" does not exist, and, even if it did, it would be less relevant than the effort taken to achieve it. Greatness is more likely the result of "striving for perfection" than actually achieving it.

Lastly, greatness can come accidentally, and simply be the result of doing the right thing in the right place at the right time. All people are not equal, some possess an innate ability or talent allows them excel with only moderate effort.

Greatness, like happiness, is not something which exists outside ourselves. It could be argued that the presence of others is necessary to achieve greatness, but it's just as likely that the opposite is true, that the presence of others confounds our efforts to be great.

This greatness is better defined as a wholeness that carries a sense of absolute peace. It is flawlessness, not necessarily within an action, but rather choices that must be made. It is what I long for most of all. It is the hope that one day; I may reach this inexplicable height and never fall back into flaws.

It sounds like you are trying to explain enlightenment, which for most people is a very difficult road to follow. Most have to follow the road to the end before realizing that what they were looking for was back at the start all along. Flawlessness could not exist without flaw, which means that flaws are in fact flawless, right? Enlightenment isn't the mastering of an art, or the result of a life's work. Enlightenment is simply truth, which is one of the most difficult principles for people to understand, let alone exercise.

I understand what you are trying to say (despite your dense style of writing), but I thought I'd give you a little more perspective. You should simplify your style a bit more, your essay is likely to be judged on how efficiently it delivers your point more than the amount of vocabulary used to do it.