[TalnSG]

The OP is an extremely cynical view of the institution, but not entirely wrong. Marriage and divorce can be and often is used as a weapon. But if you agree to such a contractual bonding without first truly knowing both yourself and the other person, that is the risk. Lust and "being in love" just won't cut it in the real world.

The courts no longer automatically side with the wife in divorces for either custody or assets. And they are not to blame for the fact that a person does not use good judgement in a relationship. Thinking a person will change after marriage is also a common and severe mistake made by both men and women. We don't change. We just reveal more and more of our true character you failed to notice or convinced yourself was a minor problem.

Marriage is a commitment and as such is basically beneficial to both parties when done sensibily and for the right reasons.

HOWEVER, the legal and financial issues can irrepairably damage the bond and the individuals. I absolutely dissapprove of the tax and other legal benefits accorded to people solely because of a marriage certificate. It is neither just nor equitable..... EVER! I support gay marriage only because it is the single practical way to help equalize people under the law. I would prefer that the government stay completely out of the marriage contract entirely, but that is not going to happen.

The one piece of advice I would add to MMM's is to travel together and then live together for a while as roommates before marriage. I know this goes against the mores of most societies, but there is a logical reason for this.

Even if you find find your "soulmate" (yes, I believe in the concept) it does not automatically mean you belong together as husband and wife. Traveling with them will reveal how your work together under stress, or don't. Living with someone you are forced to face the reality of all sides of their personality and you will have a better foundation for deciding whether to take it further.