[Columbine]

Originally Posted by Nyororin

I feel a lot better knowing this isn`t just me. I was having doubts for a minute there... Or wondering if I was just incredibly unlucky in that area.

Maybe it's a bit of both. I don't think my experience of Japan was especially typical.

Originally Posted by Nyororin

This is definitely true.

And often enough to be noticeable, it's always the guys who you can SEE why they have had bad dating experiences back home. Not always, but about half of all the ones who do this maybe.

Originally Posted by Nyororin

I have found that when it`s a non-Japanese woman going on about Japanese men, she usually has never dated one... And would never consider it thanks to the stereotypes that are floating around. I have had some pretty directly nasty things said to me by non-Japanese women (specifically military base wives...) My son has some serious medical issues, and I was told it was god`s way of telling me I shouldn`t have mated with a monkey.

What a horrible thing to be told. Do you think that's god's way of telling you to shun ignorant supremacists?

I've also come across girls who completely wax lyrical about how great Japanese guys are and how much western guys suck. Or ones who like to brag about how many japanese guys they've hooked and how they're some sort of blonde goddess to them. I always sit there thinking "No love, you're just picking up the ones who follow you around like dogs because they know you're easy and you can't talk much japanese." There was one girl in my area who was exactly that and the sad thing was the Jguys would slag her off when she wasn't around. Just, bad reputation all round really, and the one guy who didn't was just heartily embarrassed to be seen with her.

Originally Posted by Nyororin

Yep. I have been asked if I missed giant...egos. :P But in the same breath also told I would just have to settle for a Japanese guy anyway, as no guy who`d been with a Japanese girl would ever settle for "less".

Oh god. THIS. and then if they're really offensive they break out the "How Japanese Men are Terrible at Sex" horror stories. 9__9; We had one guy who was so adamant on telling me and a friend all the ways japanese men are failures in the sack a complete stranger actually turned around and said something like "Well Jesus, if they're sleeping with you, no wonder!"

Originally Posted by Nyororin

I was thinking it was the other way around. I have never even been to a "gaijin hot-spot". I usually end up being introduced via some weird connection. I am registered with my town hall as a translator, so will be called time to time when there is someone who needs help figuring out the trash schedule or something like that. Mainly it`s that or introduced by someone just having met someone else foreign and thinking I might be interested in being friends. (Usually I`m not.)

I was more in an area where there were a lot of westerners, so there were definitely places they would congregate (mostly because of ease; a lot didn't speak japanese proficiently) and places they didn't go. The ones who stayed outside of the hot spots tended to have been there longer and/or spoke better japanese and weren't so into the novelty of it all. But I see your point.

The people who went as groups outside of the hot-spots tended to be there because they were tired of "ameri-nihon" and other westerners. Some guys went there with their Japanese girlfriends, and they could be a mixed bunch. Some genuine, other's from the jerk-squad but mellowing, and others who were still class A acts and clearly taking advantage. The guys who went there by themselves tended to be scouting, especially if they got the "urgh, gross" face on sighting a non-japanese person. Even the ones who were approachable tended to put on the hurt "yeah, the other guys are yellow-fever monsters, I'd never do what they do; I don't pick up girls just because they're japanese, although I do prefer them" facade and pretty much BSing even to themselves. It'd eventually come out in the wash though and they'd still be pretty harshly critical of Japanese guys. Or else they try and hide it, but do it so poorly that it's clear that they're really actually embarrassed by their own motivations. That kind of "Look, you know it, I know it, but I really wish i wasn't like this so do you mind if we pretend I'm here for the art?" kind of thing.