Quote:
Originally Posted by bELyVIS
The bad experiences relate to the cultural training they received growing up. One cannot help how they are raised, but I don't have to choose to relate or have relationships with them either, do I?
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It`s not you we`re talking about though. You`ve been clear that you had some bad experiences, moved on, and found someone great that you are happy with. It`s the guys that do nothing but bash non-Japanese women (particularly American women), and put all Japanese women on a pedestal - even if they have never actually met a real Japanese woman before that day. They also generally need to express how much better they are than any Japanese guy could ever be - both in the way they treat women and in bed. (A lot of the time, with those types it`s not even close to true as they treat the women like they are nothing more than a game and a way to rack up sex points)
And they always seem to want to make a big deal out of their opinion, and (in my experience) "rub it in" as if I am really missing out now that they`ve decided they are too good to be on the market for me.
I really couldn`t care less who someone likes and who they end up with. I myself can`t say I`ve had a lot of great experiences with the (too often) overly zealous US feminist ideals. I don`t have any trouble understanding why a man would get a sour taste in his mouth from a lot of that (check my posts in the marriage something-or-other rant thread). Clearly I get along better with a Japanese partner, as my husband is so and we are completely happy.
What I do find quite irritating is the constant talk of how much better Japanese women are, and how horrible Japanese men are. I don`t need to have people tell me I am somehow incredibly unfortunate for a) Being a female born in the US and not Japan... and b) Having to put up with a Japanese guy because no foreign guys would ever date a non-Japanese woman after being in Japan. Seriously, it`s totally unnecessary and childish...
If someone likes common cultural features of a certain country, then by all means try to meet people from that country - the chances of finding someone who both fits your ideal and is a wonderful person is much higher than trying to find someone in some other country/culture. But don`t assume that just because they are from that culture that it is all that is necessary, and don`t leap to date anyone just because they`re from there. In the same vein, while you may not seek out people from some other culture, don`t rule them out and ignore them just because of it. I think this is what is important - the relationships that are based JUST upon the other party being from some country/culture usually don`t last - those that do are founded on love and trust. Fall in love with the person.