[Columbine]

Originally Posted by Sashimister

夏帽子
萩原朔太郎

Straw Hat Any reason for using "straw" here?
by Hagiwara Sakutarou

Just personal preference. I know it's literally 'summer hat' but it's such an old-fashioned idea it's hard to envisage. So I put straw hat because that automatically brings up the idea of what this vague "summer hat" actually is.

Originally Posted by Sashimister

Seems you misunderstood the structure. "Back in those days, I, who was attending a certain university (far) away from Tokyo, would unfailingly get possessed by a single passion every early summer."[/color]

Gah, I really did. It seems the definition of those few key words was off in the dictionary I have and that really threw me.

Originally Posted by Sashimister

Okay if "shrimp brown" makes sense in English. "maroon" or "reddish brown" would be the conventional translation.

It does in england but it's more of a buff or faun colour than maroon. That explains the purple paint later on.

Originally Posted by Sashimister

Good. Perhaps "so much" or "that much" after "hat"?

ah, of course. I wondered about that.

Originally Posted by Sashimister

Looks like the structure really got you this time.

It isn't the U of T students who were amongst the early summer greenery. It is the narrator.

I really struggled to pin-point the POV of the story to be honest. Because of the hiccup with 一高 I couldn't tell quite where this kid was coming from or if the 'student's he was talking about were real people or just an ideal in his head.

Originally Posted by Sashimister

Crappy Tokyo English, ain't it, bloke?

Even when i had it as 'sea of nostalgia' it made me grin. It's very...purple prose-ish.

Originally Posted by Sashimister

一高に準じて制定して居た means "(the hat) was made official following the U of T" You weren't allowed to use the same design as UT.[/color]
無理に here means "by force" or "artificially".
紛らして means conceiling the true identity (so that you look like you go to UT).

Thanks. that clears up my confusion completely.

Originally Posted by Sashimister

Tell me this is a bad joke.

Well considering some of those not unsubstantial errors, in retrospect yes!? I don't want to put up more bum work if all it means is making you have to basically translate it from scratch. I'll continue to work on it, because it's more interesting than drilling grammar points, pay more attention to structure and if I hit a sticky point again, I'll maybe come back and ask a few more questions. Admittedly, I didn't pick the best of stories to work on. It's not a novel, incidentally, the actual text is only a few pages long.

Thanks for all your help SM-san.