Quote:
Originally Posted by Columbine
ok, next part. I'm a little happier with this section.
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１１）しかしそれを買つた後では、つまらない悔恨にく やまされた。
However, as soon as I bought it, I felt a dull remorse for my regrettable miss-step. (the latter half is a bit clunky...)
You got the idea: That's for sure. The original uses the passive voice "くやまされた", but I don't think you can do the same in English. Maybe something like "I repented my absurd misstep"?
１２）そんなものを買つたところで、実際の一高生徒で もない自分が、まさか気恥しく、被つて歩くわけにも行 かなかつた
から。
At the place where I bought it, although there were no actual Tokyo University students around, I was naturally quite embarrassed so I couldn’t just put the thing on and go walking about.
This ところ doesn't mean "place". ～～したところで means "even if I did ~~" This mistake costed you the rest of the sentence.
"(I regreted it) because even if I bought it, there was no reason that I, who wasn't an actual U of T student, could go walking around wearing it in great embarrassment "
１３）私は人の居ないところで、どこか内証に帽子を被 り、鴎外博士の『青年』やハイデルベルヒを聯想しつつ 、自分がその主人公である如く、空想裡の悦楽に耽りた いと
考へた。
In any deserted place I would secretly wear the hat, and associating still with Doctor Ogai’s “Youth” and Heidelburg and so forth, I would pretend to be the protagonist and indulge myself in pleasurable daydreams.
Good. This is what he thought of doing instead of wearing the hat on the streets.
１４）その強い欲情は、どうしても押へることができな かつた。No matter what, I couldn’t resist that powerful craving.
Nice.
１５）そこで、或夏、七月の休暇になると同時に、ひそ かに帽子を行李に入れて、日光の山奥にある中禅寺の避 暑地へ行つた。Accordingly, one summer,
coinciding with the July holiday, I surreptitiously packed the hat into my portmanteau and went to a summer resort; a
zen temple in the sunny recesses of the mountains.
Couple of vocab issues. Disregard the second portion if you intentionally avoided using the proper nouns in your translation.
"as soon as the July holiday started"
"the summer resort around the Chuuzenji Temple in the deep mountains of Nikko."
１６）もちろん宿屋は、湖畔のレーキホテルを選定した 。それは私の空想裡に住む人物としても、当然選定さる べきの旅館であつた。
Of course, the inn I selected was a traditional lake-side hotel. That is, my protagonist who lived in the daydream presumed it, so as a matter of course it was the only hotel to select. (I know he's saying something like the kind of hotel he picked was one that fitted his idea of this elite student, but i'm not sure if the last part is as written or that he couldn't therefore pick a traditional ryoukan- it had to be this 'modern' lake hotel)
旅館 includes hotels. Author used 旅館 because he had already used 宿屋 up front. He didn't choose between ryokan and hotel. He just selected the Lake Hotel because it fits his image best..
レーキホテル is a proper noun. Doesn't mean "a lale-side hotel".
１７）或日私は、附近の小さな滝を見ようとして、一人 で夏の山道を登つて行つた。One day, thinking that I would try and see a small waterfall in the neighborhood, alone I climbed a summer mountain road.
Good.
１８）七月初旬の日光は、青葉の葉影で明るくきらきら と輝やいて居た。
The early July sunlight shone glittering and sparkling amongst the shadows of the fresh leaves.
Again, 日光 = Nikko.
１９）私は宿を出る時から、思ひ切つて行李の中の帽子 を被つて居た。
Since leaving the inn, I had been wearing the hat I was so obsessed with from inside the portmanteau.
(思ひ切つて I found awkward. I understand 思い切る as desperate or drastic and i've seen it as 'to get up courage', but none of that makes perfect sense in english so i've put it as above.)
Author used 思ひ切つて because wearing that hat is like lying to the whole world. The action was "drastic" in this sense.
２０）こんな寂しい山道では、もちろんだれも見る人が なく、気恥しい思ひなしに、勝手な空想に耽れると思つ た
からだ。On this sort of lonely mountain road, there was of course no one to be seen and so as I wasn't feeling embarrassed I became absorbed in my egotistical daydream.[/quote]
Yes. He was able to leave the hotel wearing the hat because of what's said here. I'm making a point here as this is the second time in this post that you have seemed to not include から in your translation.