Quote:
Originally Posted by YuriTokoro
Hi.
Could you correct my English?
"Odawara Castle"
I went to see cherry blossoms and Odawara Castle in Odawara city. This castle was constructed in 1417, and its ownership has changed several times.
Around the Warring States and Azuchi-Momoyama periods (1467-1600), there were a lot of chatelaines called “daimyoh” in Japan. They were fighting for supremacy. This sounds similar to the U.K.’s history, the one difference being Japan had a Tennoh(Emperor) since the 7th century. You might know of the word “Shohgun”; this title was given to “the leader of a samurai clan” (the winner among chatelaines) by the Emperor. Even so, Tennoh’s authority has been artificial.
Anyway, Japan has a lot of beautiful castles. Come and take a look at these cool donjons!
Thank you!
Odawara Castle - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Japanese castle - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Sengoku period - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Azuchi–Momoyama period - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Emperor of Japan - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia |
Not many revisions, Yuri. The first sentence was changed to make the secondary verb (see) the object of a prepositional phrase modifying the main verb "went". The second sentence was changed to focus more on the concept of the castle's ownership changing over the years, which seems to fit the central idea of the sentence better than the many owners it had since the 15th century.
Modifications were done to the sentence explaining the two eras in order to increase readability while keeping the central idea intact. I am unsure of the term "chatelaines" so I did not try to revise them.
In the sentence comparing the age of "daimyoh" to a similiar age in the U.K., revisions were done to focus attention on the identical nature shared by each with the difference being the existence of a "Shohgun". The implied meaning seeming to be that a Shohgun is different that a king in the U.K.
Hope that helps somewhat, Yuri.