[Tsuwabuki]

We have plenty of "Why Japan is Cool" threads, and we have a "I don't want to live in Japan" thread, but why not a thread of things we dislike about Japan that are worth dealing with?

This is not about defining absolute "right" vs absolute "wrong." It is rather more about what we feel.

1. Apologies - I've explained this elsewhere, but the Japanese view of apologies and the view I have of apologies are very different. I firmly believe "sorry mends no fences" and without an explanation of wrong doing, including mitigating circumstances, and a plan for mistake prevention, an apology is absolutely worthless. I also do not believe in apologising just for the sake of apologising as some sort of "gamemanship." Apologies used simply as a means to avoid rocking the boat and as political expediency seems dishonest and calculating.

I still do it, because It's Japan(TM), but I don't like it when I do, and I feel like I am being treated badly when it happens.

2. Gender segregation/Patriarchalism (and a lesser ability to loudly object to it) - This is actually fairly difficult to define, because the segregation boundaries are very much glass; that is to say they are present, but sometimes are not entirely visible.

I'm bothered by the tendency of Japanese home room teachers to divide classes up in alternating boy rows and girl rows in many of the classes I teach. I'm bothered by the ability for girls to have access to a trouser variant of the school uniform, but that I'm fairly certain there would be absolute mayhem if a boy wanted to wear a skirt. I'm not comfortable with segregated physical education classes. I'm displeased that every year, student introduction sheets for the classroom are color-coded: blue for boys, pink for girls. Could we get any more stereotypical?

These things bother me when done in the United States, but I find my education experience was generally more co-ed than not, and even in my private schools (I attended both private and public schools) very little beyond bathrooms and locker rooms were segregated. Classes weren't organised in patterns of boys and girls that highlighted the differences between them, and I certainly didn't have segregated gym class. And when events were segregated, and I saw absolutely no value in the events being segregated, I objected rather forcefully. From the time I was a primary school student, I have never suffered misogyny gladly, and my views while in the military are such that I support women in combat, women on submarines, women in command roles, and LGBT individuals serving.

There are plenty of places in Japanese society that seem to directly flow from the segregation I see in schools, and women are very much getting the shorter end of the stick. I'm concerned by what sort of views and perceptions are learned and internalised by both boys and girls when the importance of their gender is highlighted on a daily basis.

When it culminates in one of my ninth grade students telling me how her parents told her she should focus more on getting married than becoming a TV producer like she wants, because they tell her it's too difficult for a woman and she believes them, I tend to get a tiny bit put out. And by put out, I mean outraged. It's one thing for her parents' to hold their beliefs, it's another to make me wonder why the student internalised it so easily. Lack of strong female role models, perhaps?

3. Natto - Can't stand the stuff.

4. Fish - Any fish still whole enough to look at me as I look at it. That's decidedly creepy.

5. Roads - lack of imminent domain in Japan means Japanese roads are tiny, and scary, and I hate driving on them, especially in rural areas or housing estates.

6. No Central Heating/Central Cooling - I understand the monetary decision behind this, but try to avoid the use of Central Cooling in Texas, and you will die of heat exhaustion. Literally. Texas cities provide air conditioners free of charge to elderly and low income families because heat stroke is a very real fear. So I am unnerved by the lack of anything beyond just tiny fans that basically do nothing during the middle of July and August. Call it a survival instinct.

7. Institutionalised Alcohol Abuse - I drink. I drink socially once in a while. Maybe one or two. Three is pushing it. I do not drink alone. I rarely get drunk. Whenever I go out with coworkers, on official group outings, I feel like I am back at university. Surrounded by a bunch of friends demanding I chug, chug, chug. I can usually refuse, but I see how the new coworkers are often bullied into feeling that they must consume absolutely ridiculous amounts of beer or sake to fit in. It strikes me as dangerous, especially given the small frames of some of my newer coworkers. While such peer pressure is not uncommon in the United States, I certainly never experienced it as part of the business culture.

How about you?