Quote:
Originally Posted by Tsuwabuki
I find the generalisation of the USA apology to be slightly offensive. Nyororin was joking, but I am unsure if MissMisa was. That being said, let me rewrite the apology to how I would say it:
"I'm sorry I'm late, I woke up late, my alarm clock's batteries were dead. I also spoke to my mother before I went to sleep asking if she would be my back up, she agreed but did not follow through. I plan to replace the batteries, buy a second alarm clock with a plug, and ask a buddy to call me as well. This way I will prevent the mistake from happening again. It's my fault that I didn't put even more protections in place, and I will endeavor to prevent a repeat of this mistake."
This is very different from the tone used above in the other posts. When a subordinate makes a mistake, I expect all of the information above. Not just an apology, not just a promise that it won't happen again, but an explanation of why it happened, and how the subordinate will attempt to prevent it from happening again. I cannot evaluate how a subordinate learns if I don't know what processes are involved.
If you would read into the "mother" line as shifting the blame to her, you would be wrong. No blame is being shifted. Blame remains on the person apologising. It was my fault for trusting my mother to be a reliable back up, just as it was mine for not checking the batteries, and mine for not having a second alarm clock.
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I think that the problem with this post is that the person to whom you're apologizing usually doesn't care about the part a mother and some batteries played in the role of whoever being late.
I know that you said that you'd want to hear their learning process, but I can't quite understand why this would be an ideal way to apologize.
To me, this explanation still sounded like one big excuse and I personally wouldn't want to hear it.
It would honestly frustrate me a bit.
Sure, they're taking the blame for everything that had happened; trusting their mother to wake them, and for not checking the batteries.
But it's still irrelevant to the fact that they were late and this person was kept waiting.
For me, a genuine "I'm sorry. It won't happen again, " would suffice and be more of an appealing way to take the blame because the person who was late would be owning up to the mistake and promising to do better.
Yes, they inconvenienced me when they arrived behind schedule, but I don't feel they owe me details into their home life to explain exactly what went on.
However, I would like to point out that apologies to different people warrant different ways to approach an apology.
Such as, if you kept a close friend waiting, then maybe the apology you posted last would be more acceptable. Your friend knows your personal life a bit better and wouldn't mind hearing an explanation in such detail.
But, if it were in a more business-like situation or with someone to whom you're not close to personally, then I doubt that they'd want to hear the details you presented.
Overall, I think this thread makes it clear that apologies are very different and everyone has their own personal preference.
: )
I respect and understand your opinions and where you're coming from, I just don't agree entirely.