Quote:
Originally Posted by Tsuwabuki
I don't need a big explanation. I need a small, to the point explanation. All I need to know is the reason and how a plan of action will prevent that reason for reoccurring.
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I think that is OK if you are dealing with children, but with adults this sounds strange to me. Beyond "why" to require an action plan on how it will not happen again, again might be OK for children, but if you were my supervisor I would seriously consider filing a complaint or looking for a new job. That is incredibly condescending.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tsuwabuki
If I was five minutes late to work in my current position, no one would even notice.
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I have worked for a handful of Japanese bosses, and 1 minute late has been enough to merit a comment.
One time I was supposed to pick up a client at 8:00 AM. At 8:03 I received a call from my boss asking me where I was. The client had called him at 8:01 to complain I hadn't arrived to pick him up. Now when I deal with Japanese men I show up 15 minutes early, and find that often times, they are already there.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tsuwabuki
For officers, being five minutes late to O-Call isn't nearly as big of deal (it's a lot more corporate), and you probably wouldn't even be asked for an apology the the first time. The more I think about it, if you were late again, you probably still wouldn't be asked for an apology. In fact, you would be asked why you were late and how you were going to fix it, and not an apology at all. I think in that case saying "I'm sorry, I won't do it again" would be seen as the equivocation! And that would not be very healthy, because it would be guaranteed to piss off the executive officer. I can just hear the XO now, "I don't give a good God damn if you're sorry. I only care what the hell you did, why the hell you did it, and how the hell you expect to fix it." Let's just say XOs are generally very colorful individuals, and what is considered "professionally acceptable" speech is very different in the Navy.
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I think we are seeing Navy thinking versus civilian thinking.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tsuwabuki
What seems to be the issue is the belief that a request for a reason and a plan of action is suggesting that there is no trust between senior and subordinate. This isn't the case at all. Now if the senior checked up on the subordinate after receiving the reason and the plan of action, that would demonstrate a lack of trust.
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I think it shows a lack of respect, which is fine for a teacher to student or a sergeant to private, but doesn't work in the workplace or between equals.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tsuwabuki
From my point of view, I'm sorry shows remorse. But you can show remors for repeated actions you have no intent to cease.
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I'm sorry doesn't excuse the behavior, it shows an admission of error, or in other words, remorse.
If it were to happen again and again "I'm sorry" is going to clearly mean less and less and will soon become unacceptable as the speaker clearly isn't feeling remorse, as the behavior hasn't changed.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tsuwabuki
A reason shows why you understand that the mistake was yours. A plan of action shows your commitment to the promise you made to prevent it from happening again.
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"My mom forgot to wake me up," does not show remorse or understanding the mistake was yours.
Even "My mom forgot to wake me up, so I am not going to trust her to wake me up anymore," is still lame, as you are blaming your mom, but then are taking responsibility for her inaction.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tsuwabuki
If I made a mistake, and I accept that mistake is mine, I have the obligation to show more than just my remorse. I have an obligation to show remorse, account for my actions, and offer evidence of my commitment to change. That is an apology (tack on "in my opinion" of course).
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Again, this sounds like military protocol, but not how civilians act.
If any of my friends "offered evidence of his commitment to change" after showing up late, I would just scratch my head. If a date did that to me, I doubt I would be asking for a next date.