[Tsuwabuki]

Originally Posted by MissMisa

So in the end, the reason we disagree is because what you think the word 'sorry' means is different to what I think it means.

Without the context of previous quotes, I'm not sure. I would say it's a definite possibility.

With my example, 'I didn't wake up because my alarm batteries ran out and my mum didn't wake me up' would you accept it would have just been better to say, 'I'm sorry I'm late.'?

I would consider both those to be incomplete. The first shows no remorse and does appear to shift blame. It's not an apology at all. The second only shows remorse for a specific mistake, but nothing else. Is the second one better than the first? Apples and oranges. The first isn't even an apology. The second is not a complete apology. I would accept neither.

Or what would you actually say instead? I'd never do this either, but if someone ended up doing it, they'd have to figure out how to say sorry somehow.

Honestly, I don't know. I tried so hard to keep my mother out of everything I did, at all times, even as a child and as an adolescent, that it would be hard for me to get into a situation where I might reasonably say, "my mother didn't do X" and not obviously lying. She was the very last one to know about anything. Using her as any part of an explanation would be an obviously ploy to avoid giving a real reason for my mistake.

I haven't lived with my mother for many years, and in the few months I did live in her house while I was a working adult, I involved her in absolutely nothing, even less than when I hadn't been an adult. I had my own key, my door, my own money, and we talk more now that I am 7,000 miles away than we ever talked when were on opposite sides of the house.

If I had asked my mother to wake me up, and she had failed to do so, I probably wouldn't mention her at all. She would have been unnecessary if I had checked the batteries on my alarm clock, so I probably would just mention the alarm clock. This is pure speculation, but I would probably say something like this:

"I'm sorry I'm late. It was my responsibility to make sure my alarm clock worked, and I did not. I am investing in a multi-alarm system so that I can make sure this does not happen again."

Remorse - check
Understanding why the mistake happened - check
Admission of guilt - check
Plan of action to prevent the mistake again - check
Promise to implement the aforementioned plan - check

This apology is complete.