Quote:
Originally Posted by Columbine
I think you've hit the nail on the head. Most of the people going "Wha-? It's not a big deal" seem to be on the younger side. Also some of the die-hard camp for "No, men should pay" argument have spent considerable time in Japan. Slight bias there maybe?
|
Bias? Being as the original question was about how it`s done in Japan, I would think that they might want to hear from people who have dated (and seriously, not just looking for someone to hop into bed with) in Japan.
Quote:
|
And it kind of sticks a monetary value on the relationship before it even begins and that's a little sad. As the song goes, "Can't buy me love~"
|
That`s true in a way, but I still think the asker should be the one who pays when it comes to a
date. It isn`t about the money, it`s about
being considerate and respecting the other person. Unfounded expectations are never a good thing, no matter what they are about. The expectation that the other person (who
you`ve asked out on a date) will be able to afford the date is really not respecting them in my eyes. If they can and do end up paying - that is one thing... But you should never ask someone out when you cannot afford it. If it is something that is already agreed between the two of you, then there is no problem. In a steady relationship where you are both aware of and understanding of each other`s situation - it`s obviously not an issue.
There is nothing wrong with going out and splitting the bill - however, to me that says that I have not been "taken on a date" or "taken out to dinner" - just that we had dinner together. There is a difference in terms of what it means for a relationship.
I`m sure there is some level of generation gap involved, but I see it more as whether you are looking for a real long term relationship or not. If you`re just casually dating, like the youngest set on most likely is, then you`re going to think differently than someone who is actually looking for a potential life partner. I mean, I`m not THAT old - the next "generation" down from me is most certainly not looking for a partner if they`re even old enough to date. :P