Quote:
Originally Posted by Nyororin
I don`t think that anyone has said that a woman should never pay for a date. I just don`t think that a man who asks a woman out, and then expects her to pay her way should be expecting the relationship to turn into anything more.
And this all does apply to the early dates - once in a relationship the rules are up to the two of you.
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Not as so many words, no, but a few of the earlier comments (not yours) were treading the line and rather implying that it was wrong/insulting and unfeminine somehow for a woman to pay on a date. And some of the ways in which the woman was supposed to contribute back in lea of actual money were frankly rather crass to my mind.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nyororin
It is in those first dates that it counts, while the relationship is still figuring itself out. When you ask someone out on a date and are hoping that it will go further, if you then expect them to pay it becomes pretty iffy. Once you`re past that stage it doesn`t matter.
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Yes, I can see your point. Maybe it's just me though, but I'd still take cash with me. Even if he paid the bulk, I might still offer say, post-dinner drinks on me. And to a certain extent, as I mentioned before, it can be a good litmus for personality, and a gentle brake on proceedings if I feel that things are getting out of hand and there's a growing implication of obligation. I would be less put off a second date by a guy i was 50/50 over who let me pay a part of the date and depart gracefully than a guy i was 50/50 over who splashed the cash and blatantly expected compensation to be paid later on. Again, maybe just me, but I hate feeling forced into another date just because of "Oh jesus, I shouldn't really say 'no' because he paid so much last time." and to be honest, the more expensive things get the earlier in the relationship, the more awkward and lousy and off-putting the date usually is in my experience. *Victorian Hat* Sir, you are trying too hard.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nyororin
Hey, I`m still in my 20s here, so even the 10 year explanation would be a bit iffy for explaining a generation gap. 
To illustrate what I`m trying to say, imagine that you are not in a relationship and a guy you have met a few times but don`t know very well at all (Maybe know his name, but not anything else) asks you out on a date. He seems attracted to you, and you think that things have the potential to advance.
Once you finish dinner he checks the bill and pulls out half the cash and asks you to pay the rest. He never said he was going to pay, but he did ask you out and didn`t mention splitting the bill. What message would this send to you? It wouldn`t send a good one to me. |
Whoops! My bad. You're just so sensible on here compared to all the pocky-snorting kiddies, Nyoro-san. it makes you seem that much older. :P Must be cultural then. Maybe my upbringing was more feminist than I give it credit for (not always a good thing).
Anyway, yes. That kind of scenario would be bleeding stupid on his part. But that wasn't really what I was against to start out with. I refer back to my top paragraph.