[MMM]

Originally Posted by GoNative

MMM you must work in a very different world than I if taking 5 or more years out of your career wouldn't have a detrimental effect on it. As I said previously in places like Australia the idea of using day care for your child is not one filled with guilt at giving up your responsibilities as a parent. In fact it's often looked at as a good parenting choice that is great for the childs development, maybe day care centres are better quality in Aus than the US? Many parents, even if one of the parents don't work, often send their kids to day care at least a few days a week anyway.

The choice to keep working is often not just one based on career aspirations but on financial ones so that a family can provide a quality education and a life filled with great experiences fo their kids, something that may not be financially possible with only one parent working.

In Australia there just doesn't seem to be this gut wrenching choice of being a responsible parent or choosing career. Most feel the two can go hand in hand. Parents can still take a very active role in their childrens lives even though both work full time. I have nothing whatsoever against those parents that choose to stay at home until their kids head off to school or those mothers or fathers that choose to be housewives or househusbands. If that is what makes them happy then go for it. But I think it's great that men and especially women now have a choice instead of just having to follow some traditional roles that may not make them happy one little bit.

I must, because I know lawyers who have hit "pause" in their careers to raise children and I know one scientific researcher, as well (my mother) that waited until her children were in school to go back to work.

This is my personal opinion, but if my baby is 6 months old, I don't think a parent should have just a "very active role" but should have the only role in that child's life.

And if the choice of being a mother doesn't make a woman happy, then why did she have the baby in the first place?

Originally Posted by steven

I think it's interesting to note that there are stay at home dads in Japan.

But I will guess and say it is rare and considered odd.

Originally Posted by steven

MMM, you seem to have a very nice and clean perspective about mothers...

I didn't realize that "mothers" had such a negative image in this community? Didn't we all have one?

Originally Posted by steven

maybe it's my having grown up in/around LA, but I've known many "mothers" who have kids to get money from the government. Or mothers who accidentally have kids and use them for that. I've also known drug addicted mothers who couldn't give an S about their kids.

Clearly these are not the people I am talking about. I do not have a positive image about people like this.

Originally Posted by steven

If we're talking about more or less normal people, though, I think most mothers do care very much for their children. Men do too... and I think men have been known to show their love by working their asses off for their family. Who's to say women can't do that, too? They're certainly capable in my opinion. There are also certainly men who are capable of raising their kids the way mothers traditionally have. There are, however, a few physiological things about this like breastfeeding and what-not. Once you get past those first few years though, what difference does it make, really?

Point out where I say this is a woman's job. For the most part I use the word "parent" as it is not necessarily a woman's job to raise a child. What I am asking is, if she is not interested in raising a child or being married, why is she getting married and having children?

Originally Posted by steven

As a kid I was always jealous of other kids with stay at home parents. I don't think it would have made much of a difference if my mom or my dad stayed home to play with me all day, I would've been pretty happy.

Thank you. My point exactly.