[steven]

The fact that you realize that you need to look at gestures and body language and stuff like that gives you an edge over most people who live here. In language study things like that are underemphasized in my opinion... so making an effort to study them is a great thing to do. Giving yourself a few years is a realistic expectation if you have regular contact with native speakers.

Teachers often subscribe "listening" in language courses. I think that's great, but there's a huge element to language that is left out: "watching". In otherwords, "observaion" of a language is VERY important. Just like music, there is listening and there is active listening. Active listening being the kind of listening that is kind of dangerous to do while driving, if you know what I mean. Doing that kind of "active" approach to language obsesrvation is really important. We talk about facial expressions and tone and body language and things like that... but you really have to look and listen for the nuances. Like for pronunciation, sometimes it helps to look at peoples' mouths when they speak as it can give you some hints on pronunciation. Sometimes it helps to really listen to "pitch" and "cadence" and things like that (which are very regional in any language). I think basic ear training should help you a lot. To be honest I was very deadpan for most of my high school life until I really started getting into music. It helps to watch people to figure out the timing of when they groan or when they say their "ummms" and "uhhhhs" and things like that.

I think with language there will be those kind of stifled periods where you overthink things... that is definitely true for a second language. The goal is to get through that period, start learning to "copy by ear", learn to improvise by using phrases that you've picked up, and then start rounding the edges of it all to create a smooth and natural language. In a weird way, I think that applies to both spoken language, body language, and culture (in language terms: what to say and when to say it).