[YuriTokoro]

[quote]

Originally Posted by Columbine

Ah, right, I understand where we've gone wrong then. The focus of the custom is on ~not pouring for yourself~, rather than pouring for other people. Let's go back to the start; "Someone may start it before you notice the empty glasses." I misinterpreted your explaination, i thought that you have a obligation at a party to pour for other people, but it's not really an obligation at all, right?

You are right. It’s not an obligation or a duty.

Because if you're drunk, you can't do it, and if you forget to fill a glass, no-one gets cross.

Exactly!

In England, the only time people pour for others is if they are ~hosting~ the event, and in that case, you shouldn't get distracted, because it can be rude to ignore an empty glass, even if another guest fills it.

I think the definition of the word “party” might be different between us.
Most of our parties have 4 ― 10 people. We call it 飲み会（のみかい）, and there is no host or guests. We just get together and drink. Very casual.
I thought you would call it “a party”, but you seem to think a party has a host and guest, and a host needs to do something.
What would you call 飲み会 in English?

When I host a party in my house, I don’t have any obligation or duty to pour empty glasses.( I just need to ready enough food and drink.) Everybody is supposed to pour for each other.

So you should say that you ~should~ fill glasses at a party, but it's ok if you can't (or forget), because there will always be someone who notices an empty glass.

Yes. But my point was that when young women pour for themselves, they are said they will not be able to marry. I think this may sounds strange to you.

ごめんなさい、私の説明はむちゃくちゃになったでしょ うね。 ”One mistake youー”から、私は文法について話していました。英語で 「〜てくれる／あげる／もらう」の事を書くと動詞の前 にいつも’for'を書かなくちゃいけないんです。だかた� �”Young women normally don’t pour by herself ”じゃありません　”Young women normally don't pour for themselves"です。
’I poured for myself'をはなせます、それは大丈夫. でも、'for myself'が英語で二つの意味あるんです。

1) 一人で "by myself"
2)自分の心のために "for the sake of myself"

Oh, thank you.
I didn’t know “for myself” means both “by myself” and “for the sake of myself”.

It then depends on the situation. If i'm at home, it's normal to pour beer for myself, right?

Right. Even young women when they drink alone.

But at a party, it's not. Even in the West, that's the host/hostess' job, or else there's a bar-tender or waiter. It's only at very casual parties where you can pour for yourself.

I didn’t know that’s the host and hostess’s job.
We rarely have such big parties which have bar-tenders or waiters.
Even at very casual parties, you should try to pour for other people; you can pour for yourself if you are a man, but other people always try to pour for you.

So at a party, the act of 'pouring my beer' needs another person. That's why when you say 'I poured for myself' it has the 一人で meaning, because it implies "instead of someone else".

If I didn’t try to mention about the young women’s taboo, I didn’t say “pour (for ) themselves”.
I don’t think I meant 一人で, but　自分で（じぶんで）.

Telling our culture seems to be very difficult to me.
Thanks for your perseverance!