[quote=YuriTokoro;821601]
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You are right. It’s not an obligation or a duty.
Exactly!
I think the definition of the word “party” might be different between us.
Most of our parties have 4 ― 10 people. We call it 飲み会（のみかい）, and there is no host or guests. We just get together and drink. Very casual.
I thought you would call it “a party”, but you seem to think a party has a host and guest, and a host needs to do something.
What would you call 飲み会 in English?
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Right! What makes a 'party' over here can be very different to what makes a 'party' in Japan. In the UK, 飲み会 is very common, but we don't really have a word for it. I still wouldn't call it a 'party'! Nonetheless, at a British のみかいthe drinks are served differently. In Japan, it's put in the middle of the table, right? So you can serve each other. In the UK, you're served as individuals (if there's a waiter/waitress) or you go to the bar and buy individual drinks there. The only time you might serve others is if you buy a bottle of wine, or get a jug of water for the table, then you should offer it first to the people on your left and right before pouring for yourself.
This is probably because we have less late-night public transport, so people like to control their own alcohol consumption and if someone else pours for you, it seems like a waste if you have to leave it. Out of interest, in Japan what do you do if your glass is empty but you don't want any more?
A 'party' is an event with a ~reason~. It's someone's birthday, or anniversary, marriage, post-exam celebration. The main reason I think of a party as having a host and guests is that a lot of parties are held in people's houses.
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Originally Posted by YuriTokoro
When I host a party in my house, I don’t have any obligation or duty to pour empty glasses.( I just need to ready enough food and drink.) Everybody is supposed to pour for each other.
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And here's the difference; the host is definitely supposed to serve the drinks, at least at first. Only at events where the guests bring their own drinks is it normal for people to serve themselves and each other. Even if the food is a buffet or バイキング style service, the host will usually still pour the drinks.
At least in the UK, this probably is an extension of tea-party etiquette, where the hostess always pours.
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Originally Posted by YuriTokoro
Yes. But my point was that when young women pour for themselves, they are said they will not be able to marry. I think this may sounds strange to you.
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It's a little strange, but British etiquette has a lot of odd customs and rules too!
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Originally Posted by YuriTokoro
I didn’t know that’s the host and hostess’s job.
We rarely have such big parties which have bar-tenders or waiters.
Even at very casual parties, you should try to pour for other people; you can pour for yourself if you are a man, but other people always try to pour for you.
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If it's a very big party (50+ people) sometimes you hire someone to serve the drinks! But more often you go to a pub or somewhere similar where it's done for you anyway.
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Originally Posted by YuriTokoro
If I didn’t try to mention about the young women’s taboo, I didn’t say “pour (for ) themselves”.
I don’t think I meant 一人で, but 自分で（じぶんで).
Telling our culture seems to be very difficult to me.
Thanks for your perseverance!
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Ah, OK, it think that was my mistake! 'By myself' in japanese can be 一人で or 自分で、but you're right, this time it should be 自分で！
8/ cultural differences are really complicated!