[Crownedinterror]

The strange love/hate feeling started the first week. But it became much more stronger the last two weeks. Maybe because I was traveling a lot during the three first weeks.

Before I came to Japan, I knew that people would be behind this social mask, I knew they would be polite and respectful, I knew there would be a load of people, etc.

But living it. It's so different.

I like Tokyo, I like big cities. But I guess that it's the Japanese who made me hate Japan (as strange as it can be). And that's kind of racism I guess.

I just didn't like the "You are a stranger, so I have to be kind to you, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry" thing. They "hide" their emotions but anybody a little intelligent can see through it. That was insulting. And when someone would seem more friendly, I would never know if it was true or if he was just playing nice.

And I felt very excluded. It's hard to explain. Body language, intonation, looks, I don't know exactly what, I just felt it.

Now I don't know what to do. I had a life challenge of going to Japan and live there. Work as a game programmer or even designer. But now, I realize that the cultural barrier will be harder to break.

Is making friends in Japan that hard, or is it just me?