Quote:
Originally Posted by Crownedinterror
I just didn't like the "You are a stranger, so I have to be kind to you, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry" thing. They "hide" their emotions but anybody a little intelligent can see through it. That was insulting. And when someone would seem more friendly, I would never know if it was true or if he was just playing nice.
And I felt very excluded. It's hard to explain. Body language, intonation, looks, I don't know exactly what, I just felt it.
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I think that you`re both looking at cultural differences... And ignoring some of them at the same time. A lot of the social cues you picked up leading to the "just felt it" do not always carry the same meaning in Japanese culture as others. You`re picking up that difference, but interpreting the difference according to your own social background and culture.
That just doesn`t work.
The "hiding" emotions... Chances are, there wasn`t much emotion to hide. You`re reading hints that would work in your own culture. Even things at that level are different in Japanese culture - but it`s all subtle. People just don`t react to other people in the same way. The signs of friendliness and unfriendliness are just not the same as the culture you`re used to. A lot of the uneasiness you likely picked up on had nothing to do with you - but personal doubt in English ability. This is why the world sort of changes once you`re fluent in Japanese. That wall disappears - and it is the largest, even with people who
seem fluent in English.